#i actually put quite a bit of thought into them
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seewetter · 18 hours ago
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There's multiple things going on in the last goethefaustworld comment:
The first part reveals a lack of understanding of how economic processes work. Rich people are not simply rich, they continuously earn heaps of money. The idea that imposing a steep tax on rich people would "run the well dry" so-to-speak is absurd, because the well gets refilled all the time regardless of tax amount.
The second part ("Maybe stop expecting immediate gratification and actually start planning for the future…") indicates a view where anyone who wants the resources of oligarchs to be put to good use is short-sighted(?) and pursuing short-term enjoyment(???). I can't say what goethefaustworld is thinking, but it sounds a bit like an accusation that people who want reliable living standards to be implemented want this because they are uncomfortable contributing work to society and feel entitled to rewards. It's a character assassination of anyone who suggests large-scale improvements to our standard of living. Immediate gratification? If people thought of this as a cool plan to immediately get things for themselves, I think it would be presented and talked about that way. But the real point is that we can vastly reduce the amount of gratification people receive from committing petty crimes by allowing them to live in a society where their basic needs are taken care of. We reduce the gratification people get from being selfish pricks by making sure that being selfish just isn't that tempting or rewarding. I often encounter Christian conservatives that think they are being very wise by arguing against support systems for the poor with exactly this type of argument and I must say I'm appalled that they can criticize the supposed "laziness" of people who don't have to take work from irresponsible and selfish employers but seem to have no problem being lazy at problem-solving the problems of socially disadvantaged people.
The final point goethefaustworld makes is relevant, however. Because while ending homelessness (for example) is far cheaper than treating it, the economic rationale for maintaining homelessness is either quite complex or quite cutthroat. If it was a really cheap solution that would fix the problem forever and vastly cut costs for the rich...they would have implemented it. There is such a thing as capital flight and anyone who wants to change how the world works needs to account for it. However, what goethefaustworld might like to consider is that on the one hand, communication across societal boundaries (between the rich and non-rich, for example) can, at times, bring about positive change and on the other hand, not fixing these problems exacerbates tensions which eventually result in outcomes the rich can't avoid. Right now, fleeing positive reforms might seem like a great idea for rich people...but technically, they are not losing anything meaningful. We could absolutely live in a society that permits Jeff Bezos to own multiple yachts (and all the other tangible things he has or wants) as a perk for signing up for a new society where Jeff Bezos doesn't technically have control over his own money and where his money is spent on improving society. I don't really care that some people have lots of material perks that I don't enjoy. I don't care that I live in a society where acquiring a yacht costs hard work. Sounds good to me! No problem there. No, I'm just bothered by the suffering the rich inflict. The starvation that exists as the outcome of conscious political and economic choices. The genocide carried out against people who don't have enough economic or political power. The environmental devastation (oil spills, deforestation, whatever you want) caused by economic irresponsibility. These people tell you that they are hard working, yet they don't clean up their messes until forced to. Their companies brag about doing good...that the law forces them to and that they didn't do until the law forced them to.
What goethefaustworld seems to not grasp is that planning for the future is something you can only do when you think at scale. Your budget for what you will spend or earn over the next months can be blown away by forces far beyond your personal control. So we need those large, impersonal forces to work for us -- not because we are lazy, but because otherwise we are dead. A big corporation didn't find it profitable to secure their truck properly? Well you'll be displeased to hear that this truck is driving by you when you cross the street tomorrow and there's a fatal accident. You are not lazy, you are not looking for immediate gratification, if you are critical of where money goes and how it is spent. Should money be spent for more tax breaks for the rich? Because otherwise they'll flee the country, "get the heck out of dodge"? Or should we all be in charge of who gets to "get the heck out of dodge" or not? What are these people dodging, exactly? Policies that might help them save money? Policies that prevent other people from dying? Do they get off on people dying, is that why they call attempts at stopping them predatory?
When will people finally grow up and take societal improvement more seriously than a corporate bottom line that is part of an economic competition game where the winner gets money points?
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luimagines · 20 hours ago
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Wind Calls You Mom
Another commission!
They asked for Wind calling Reader mom and then gets embarrassed about it.
Masterlist
Content under the cut!
When you first started traveling with the boys, you thought you were about to jump off a cliff.
Don’t get it mixed up. You adore each and every one of them, but you were sure that their antics were going to make you go gray before thirty.
You had known that teenage boys were a pain even on the best of days. But you didn’t realize how quickly you would have been singled out as it was. And because they were all nasty, testosterone filled menaces, your poor nose was about to keel over and call it quits.
So! Much to your behest, you took it upon yourself (by gently bullying them) to be the one to actually keep them on top of their cleanliness and their hygiene because you refused to baby these nearly fully grown men. Honestly, you could have started crying by the stench alone if you had the misfortune of being down wind of them.
“Take a shower.” You held a hand up, shutting the poor boy down before he could say anything else.
“Oh come on!” Wind whines, dramatically pouting and throwing his hands by his sides. “It’s not even that bad-!”
“Because you’re the one living in it.” You press, keeping your hand up between you both. “Either go jump in the river or change your clothes- for goodness sake-!”
Wind turns to one of the other guys for support but they all collectively shrug. This isn't a battle they’re willing to fight. You’ve been quite adamant about it over the weeks you’ve traveled with them. Time in particular isn’t going to fight you on this and you know it.
Teenage boys smell the worst.
“Next town we go to I’m getting all of you some sort of odor neutralizer.” You grumble and turn back to cleaning your weapon. “It’s a miracle I haven’t dropped dead.”
Wind groans even louder. 
Hyrule snickers in the background. You turn and point a finger to him, fighting to keep a straight face as you speak again. “Don’t you start! You’re one of the worst offenders!”
“Who am I offending?” Hyrule puts a melodramatic hand to his chest.
“My nose!”
“Tough.”
You stand, ready to fight the boy before Wind flops over, dragging you back down to your spot. He doesn’t actually smell that bad. If you think onions aren’t that smelly to begin with, that is. You don’t even know why he smells like onions. You didn’t even eat onions today!
“Wind! Get off! You smell!” You groan and try to push him off. He chooses violence and latches on instead. 
“I don’t want to now.” He pouts. “You’re being mean.”
“I am not!” You try to push him off again with more force. “Wind!”
“Wind.” Warrior comes to your rescue. “Come on. We have to do laundry anyway. We can clean your clothes and it’ll solve the issue.”
Wind rolls over, covering himself with dirt as he hits the ground. “You’re no fun.”
Warrior chuckles. “And you smell.”
“HA!”
“Warrior, you traitor.” Wind grumbles and gets up. His whole back is filthy and it makes you laugh.
“Hold on, Sailor.” You take a rag and brush him off. You turn him around and wipe the rouge dirt on his cheeks as well while you’re at it. “Honestly, it’s a miracle you’re not sick after all of this.”
Wind sticks his tongue out. “Whatever mom.”
You roll your eyes and put the rag away. When you look back at Wind, you see that his cheeks have gone pink and that his ears are pinned down. He suddenly refuses to meet your eyes. The change startles you. What happened? You bend a bit to look him in the eye. “Wind?”
“I’m going!” He turns on his heels away from you and dashes off to where you know Wild and Legend were doing the laundry.
You tilt your head in question. Strange. What came over him? You turn to Warrior with an eyebrow raised to sell your unvoiced question.
Warrior snickers and covers his mouth with his hand.
Well that doesn’t answer your silent question at all! What are you missing?! You level Warrior with an incredulous look. “What? What’s so funny, Mr. Chuckles?”
Warrior meets your gaze easily with a charming smile. The laughter in his eyes is borderline obnoxious. “Really? Did you miss what he said?”
“Wind?” You say for mere clarification. “I happened to be a bit preoccupied at the time if you missed it. Poor kid covered himself with nothing but dirt and didn’t even care. I’d hate for his clothes to stain.”
Warrior snickers even more but doesn’t comment on your words. “He called you mom.”
You pause. 
He did, didn’t he? Huh… You heard for sure, but it just seemed like the typical teenage response for someone who was being a bit bratty. You can recall the amount of times you’ve done that yourself on a friend or over doting well meaning acquaintance. Heck, even sometimes to your own mother. But that was usually less funny than if you did it with other people.
You had thought that Wind was being sarcastic and didn’t want to bother with acknowledging it. Some battles just aren’t worth it. And you knew it would have been well deserved anyway.
However his reaction wasn't what you thought it would be. He looked embarrassed and awkward. He hadn’t meant to call you that at all.
You know that your silence doesn’t read well while you’re thinking but if Warrior hadn’t pointed it out, you fear how long it would have taken you to figure it out.
You cough, feeling your own cheeks go a bit pink as the realization washes over you. “I see.”
“Do you?” Warrior smirks and crosses his arms. “No shame in it if I need to further spell it out for you.”
“You have something in your teeth.” You say instead.
Warrior perks up and instantly goes looking for the mirror shield.
You try to keep from laughing, wondering how or if you should bother bringing up Wind’s little slip of the tongue. He called you mom- he’s probably mortified. 
You rub your knuckles against your forehead. Ok. This can’t stand. You’ll talk to him. Maybe not immediately but you don’t want Wind to shrink into himself and lose his confidence.
You wait until after dinner.
Instead of waiting for the right moment to make your move, you decide to simply sit yourself next to Wind once the boys had gone around amusing themselves by the fire. The resident pirate was moments from joining in but your presence seems to have embarrassed him once more.
So he’s also still thinking of his little slip up.
You tilt your head, trying to appear nonchalant. “...Everything good, Wind? Did you like dinner?”
He nods. 
You wait for him  to say something but he struggles to meet your eyes even now. His cheeks go pink again and you’re forced to think of a solution on the fly. You told yourself you were trying to avoid this! This is not avoiding it!
“Wind-”
“I’m sorry.” He says instead, rubbing the back of his neck. The poor boy finally turns his head to you. “I didn’t mean to call you that. It just came out.”
You sigh. Ok. He beat you to it. This is fine.
You sling your arm around his shoulders and ruffle his hair for the heck of it, trying to keep the energy casual. “Don’t worry about it. I didn’t even notice.”
Wind turns toward you with wide, almost hopeful eyes. “Really?”
You nod. “Granted, I heard it, but I thought you were being sarcastic at first. I didn’t see a problem with it until Warrior decided to make it a problem.”
“Warrior?” Wind tilts his head, looking over to where the Captain was losing a card game to Four. It’s not even a close game. Four is wiping the floor with him. “What did he do?”
“In his words, he spelled it out for me.” You grumble. “He was laughing that it went over my head so easily.”
“...Oh.”
“...”
“...”
“I hope Four wins that game.”
“Warrior always loses anyway.”
You chuckle and ruffle his hair again. “You ok? Feel better?”
Wind laughs a little bit but nods.
You also feel a bit better, but there’s one thing that you want to ask now that you’ve thought about it. “I don’t smother you boys, do I? I’m not that bad, am I?”
“No, you are.” Wind answers honestly. “...But it’s nice.”
“You think so?” You say, ignoring the mild sting of his blunt honesty.
Wind nods again. “I think… that having someone to keep us clean and someone to make sure we’re all taken care of is helping us a lot…” You watch him think for a moment longer. Wind bites his cheek. “It… actually would’ve been nice to have someone give me snacks when I was on my adventure.”
You smile. “Happy to help.”
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bengiyo · 3 days ago
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Ben’s Big BL Blurb 2: Fall is Finally Here
I am simply too busy with worth, family, other hobbies, and life to write about every show in real time anymore. I’m sorry to all the Stray Thoughts readers who’ve reached out about whether I would pick that back up, and I simply just do not have the time to do them anymore. Instead, I’ll try to do one of these as often as I can to catch up on things.
First, let’s go over some shows I finished recently that I don’t think I wrote much about.
First Note of Love
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I was so happy to see Michael back on screen, and I was glad to see that he’s still able to get great chemistry with his co-star. Unfortunately, I don’t think this show was very coherent, so I didn’t get a lot out of it emotionally. It was a pretty inoffensive watch overall, and thus an easy show to put on without having to work through too much. I liked the work between everyone, and Mei Lei was such a fun character. Probably won’t return to this one, though. 
Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo
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This is probably the show of the year for me. There’s so much I loved about this show. I loved that the characters had sex, but were neither rewarded nor punished for it; their sex didn’t solve any problems. I also really love how this show explored how childhood trauma expresses in two different kinds of boys, and I love that we got to see a bully reckon with his actions and get closure. I love that this show ended with them being kinda poor, but happy together. I love how messed up they both were about everything. I loved that Juyeong wasn’t stupid, and could read what was going on.
I clearly need to write a separate post to unpack everything I felt in this show.
Let’s move on to what I’m watching currently, in no particular order…starting with the lesbians, and then the worst BLs.
Apple My Love
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Genuinely having fun with this GL. I like how quickly most of the drama plays out. It’s giving me quite a bit of secondhand embarrassment, but I like the characterizations in this show. This new production house brought us Knock Knock, Boys! and Monster Next Door this year. We need to keep an eyes on them. 
Haunted Hearts
I’m so fascinated by Oxin Films teaming up with Regal Entertainment. The leads are very attractive, but the cinematography is really boring. I’m trying to stay invested, but it’s kind of a sleepy watch. Also amused that they started airing a ghost romance right after Halloween ended. I’ve kind of moved on emotionally from the season.
My Damn Business
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This show could be good, but it’s not. I struggled with episode 5 because our lead looked more relaxed and happier with his senior than the guy he’s getting into a romance with. There’s something missing here in this one, but I can’t exactly put my finger on it. I think it’s primarily a side effect of the short run time, but I think the boss’s interest isn’t landing properly for the employee to respond to. 
Eccentric Romance
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This show could be good, but it’s not. Still, I am obsessed with a murder mystery being the primary source of confusion between our leads. I was willing to forgive this show a lot of its rough edges, but it failed to handle the turn from friendship to sexual/romance really well. I feel like our guys just started dating and having sex, and I’m a bit frustrated that they didn’t talk about it really at all, particularly since this show features two different languages spoken on screen. Genuinely looking forward to seeing how this one finishes. 
See Your Love
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I’m not sure this show is exactly working that well, but everyone is very pretty and I’m having a decent time watching it. I like the way Shao Peng stands up for himself, and I like that nothing that’s happened has been totally unbelievable or unreasonable (at least with the mains). I’ll be curious how the hard of hearing and deaf viewers respond to this one once it’s complete. 
Love is Like a Poison
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This show is actually so funny. I love that Shiba is in his own lawyer genre separate from everyone else, and I really like how the two of these guys have become a team. I’m curious how they manage to resolve the scamming next week, but this has been the most unexpected dynamic of the year. 
Love in the Air: Koi no Yukon
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MAME won this year, y’all. We all have complicated feelings about her, but she’s secured a loving adaptation from a Japanese team that’s put solid effort into bringing her characters to life. Every character feels correct compared to their Thai counterpart we saw on screen, and that’s a strong sign that the writing behind MAME’s work is strong, even if we all have issues with the way she tackles certain themes. I’m really impressed with this adaptation, and really like this version of Rain.I also feel like this show is doing a better job blending the forthcoming couple focus shift.
Our Youth
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We just got this show, but damn does it feel sharp! I’m always going to be a sucker for a cinephile character, and I’m so compelled by the way Minase is drawn to Hirukawa. The scene in episode 2 where Minase has to leave Hirukawa’s house might be one of the most impressive sequences we’ve had in a while, requiring a great deal of choreography and effort from the actors and the camera crew to pull off, and I’m excited to see how these characters split and then come back together. 
Smells Like Green Spirit
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Let me just say that I need another Abe Alan appearance when he isn’t playing a character doing horrible things to his students. I’ve enjoyed meditating on the 90s with this show and what that era felt like. I’ve liked how the show has tried to focus on how different parents (especially the moms) have responded to their kids coming to terms with themselves. I’ve also really enjoyed the friendship that’s grown between Mishima and Kirino. I’m struggling with Yumeno a lot, because I’m really not a friend of bully romances. Still, I feel like this is one of those shows I’ll remember for a long time because of its focus on the 90s. 
Blue Canvas of Youthful Days
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I think @lurkingshan covered reactions to episode 5 and episode 6 better than I could, and I loved @twig-tea giving context for the film history moment in episode 6. I remember screaming into the chat for friends to show up for this when I got to that moment. This show has two great pairs of dynamics going on that mirror well. It’s got such a strong handle on its characters’ motivations and how they would respond to the actions from each other. It’s probably the tightest thing I’m watching now, backed by extremely dialed-in performances. I will be thinking about Qi Lu organizing his potential first kiss with Qin Xiao, and how unapologetic he’s been about the entire affair. He’s being selfish here, but I kinda like it. I’m so thankful that we are somehow still getting this show, because goddamn do the Chinese actors deliver on chemistry sometimes.
Interview With the Vampire Season 2
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I finished this with a friend last week, and holy fuck is this show still so, so good. We watch a lot of gay romance because of BL, and I am having so much fun watching the show about gay divorce. I loved the time we spent in Paris, Daniel’s shifting role in the narrative, and the new insights we got into Lestat this season. I will miss Claudia so much, and I have to give a standing ovation to Delainey Hayles stepping into the role of Claudia and doing the damn thing this season. I just love seeing my little fucked up gay people torment each other on screen.
I'm still thinking about Louis and Lestat reuniting in a hurricane after Claudia derided this as yet another chapter in their stormy romance.
Dropped Shows
Unfortunately, everyone can’t win. Some of these shows are just too long for me to keep up with them, and oftentimes I get bored. I’ve currently dropped:
Lovesick 2024 - I may go back. We’ll see
Jack & Joker - It’s just too long, and they just killed Jennie and a kid. I’m good.
Fourever You - I’m bored with Earth always playing this character type.
Pluto - Namtam and Film are beautiful, but this looks too messy right now.
Every You, Every Me - Wasn’t intrigued after episode 1, but the commentary may draw me back.
Kidnap - Ohm is not enough to keep me invested in this show. 
Uncle Unknown - How did they make a 6 minute show feel slow?
I’m genuinely not trying to be harsh to Thai shows out here, but I just do not have the time to keep up with all of them when they’re this long and dragging.
Thanks for stopping by, and let me know if there’s something I missed that I should check out.
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boundbyeclipse · 2 days ago
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hiii can you write smut number 5 with current James????
black velvet
genre : smut
word count : 1227
tags : current!james, female!reader, age difference (not specified how much), reader is a tattoo artist, a little rough james, semi-public sex (i think?), that’s about it
from the prompt list : 5. “don’t cover your mouth. i wanna hear you”
a/n : sooo i saw a photo of James getting a tattoo done and i thought hey, that’s a perfect idea for one of my requests! it really stuck to me and i had to write it. i really hope you enjoy this one x
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‘Poison’ by Alice Cooper played in the background after you returned from your dinner break at work. You hummed along to the lyrics while lightly bopping your head to the beat. You absolutely loved rock and metal, so the playlist used at work always consisted of bands who did exactly those genres. It always gave you motivation and boosts for some energy, no matter if you were sad, angry or irritated.
While preparing for your next client, the sound of the entrance door opening and closing reached your ears. Technically, it was just a bit too early to show up, but hey, this one’s a regular and you didn’t mind at all.
“Hey there” you greeted him while putting some black gloves on your hands.
“Hey. Mind me showing up before I should?”
You gave him a warm smile, shaking your head left to right.
“Nope. You can come take a seat actually, I’ll go print out the tattoo and get more ink”
“Alright” James smiled back, hanging his jacket on the rack and making his way to the big, comfortable leather chair. He watched you walking around and you didn’t quite pay any attention to him, at least at first. Or, you just didn’t want to.
No matter how many times you’ve done tattoos on this man in the past few years, there has always been some sort of a tension between you both. It wasn’t anything like what you’ve had before with other men. They might have complimented you, made you smile, even blush, but none of them put you in such a vulnerable position with their presence alone. And there have been many times where his eyes would pierce right through you in the middle of getting his skin drawn on, creating the impression of him wanting to do some things to you. The lust was purely emitting from him the whole time. And you cannot forget about those moments when his fingertips would brush against your skin, making you shiver and think of scenarios in your head that were not so innocent. Sure, he was much older than you, but that didn’t stop either of you from craving each other every time.
Not too long after, you were already seated next to James, with his hand extended out as you were drawing lines on his skin.
My, oh my, did those large hands of his drove you insane.
“You got any more people coming after me?” he suddenly asked, his blue eyes hinting at something.
“Nope, you are the last one today. Puts my mind at ease knowing my last client is a regular. No need to overthink”
One side of his mouth curved up into a small smirk.
“Are you sure your mind is at ease? Because I can feel you’re all tensed up”
You swallowed and bit your lower lip hard after he said that. Trying to hide your growing frustration, you giggled.
“Maybe I am, I’ve been here since seven in the morning, you know”
He cocked an eyebrow up, not quite believing what you were saying. James could clearly see how you bit your lip, adjusted in your seat and giggled due to getting thrown back by his comment.
“It’s kind of easy to tell that it’s not because of the work. You don’t need to hide it”
Your breath hitched in your throat, and your body froze for a moment before you looked up at him and asked.
“What do you mean?”
“I know you secretly think about all the possible ways I could use my hands on you,” you could not believe what he just said, but it was totally true, “it’s written all over your face. Even your body language gives it away with how you shake, squirm in your seat, how you breathe heavier when I’m around. I know you think of me”
“James, don’t-“
“Just finish the tattoo first, then you can explain yourself”
Not even ten minutes later, you had your body pinned against the door of your break room, with no way to escape the tall man who hovered over you. His hands roamed your body while he kissed your neck, sucking on the sensitive spots to make you even weaker. The way he held you by your hip against the door made you so vulnerable and so turned on, that you could not help but moan into the heated kiss.
With one swift move, James opened the door behind you and the both of you walked backwards, still all over each other until the back of your calves hit the lounge couch that was in the room. James helped you with taking your shirt off, leaving you in a black lace bra. You sat down and watched James from below, eyes full of desperation and need, looking right into his own. He removed his shirt and tossed it away, unbuckling his jeans and unzipping them, then hovering above you as he laid you down slowly, but with rough kisses and a tight grip on your waist.
Your hand reached into his jeans and you cupped him through the fabric of his underwear, giving it a couple squeezes as James groaned in response. He was big, thick and hard, and you could feel yourself getting so wet that it started to hurt. You really needed him.
With no clothes left on your bodies, he was now inside you, moving his hips as he watched your face, loving the way your eyes rolled back with each thrust. The way your back arched, your naked bodies touching against each other, it put you in such a trance. Every second of it - you just loved.
With your moans becoming louder, you felt a little embarrassed, and your hand found its way to your mouth to silence yourself. But James wasn’t going to let you hide.
“Don’t cover your mouth. I wanna hear you”
Carefully, he took your hand and now had both of your hands pinned above your head. Your moans filled the room as you wrapped your legs around his waist, wanting to feel every single inch of his length in you. Almost to the point where you could barely take it.
“I can’t- I can’t take it”
“Yes, you can. Just hang on for a little bit more for me, okay?”
You gave him a nod in response, eyes watery and lips parted as you breathed heavily, your high hitting you right then and there. It happened so quickly, that you could not even tell James that you were close.
Another moan slipped out of his mouth as you coated him in your juices, your walls pulsing whilst he was still inside you, able to feel everything.
“Almost there” he told you as he gave you his final thrusts before pulling out and cumming on your stomach. Both of you were panting, with small beads of sweat on your foreheads and hair all messed up. But as soon as you got your breathing back to normal, it was time to clean up and go home. Though, James just wasn’t quite keen on leaving you so soon.
“I’ll give you a ride back home, so don’t worry about taking a bus in this weather” he gave you a warm smile as he put his jacket on and waited for you at the entrance door.
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crescent-blades · 2 days ago
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Father!Kokushibo | Part II
Pairings⌇Kokushibō and his child [c/n], & Kokushibō × wife!Reader. Warnings⌇Refusing to eat or drink/starvation, overexertion
A/N⌇If any of you have seen the earlier version of this, you might notice that this is a bit of a repost. The reason I'm sharing it again is that tumblr apparently hates me and won't let me save that post after adding a few things. So, I figured it would just be easier to just put this out there again, lol.
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𖤐ˎˊ˗Masterlist ⌇Part: 1
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▪︎Kokushibō would begin training his child; being the strongest and most experienced samurai in history, you could bet that the teachings would be of the highest quality.
▪︎Along with weilding the katana, Kokushibō would also be adamant that his child received a proper education. For that, he would entrust you to teach the child to read and write properly, how to write poems [he could step in if you aren't good at it], and whatnot.
▪︎If you had a daughter, Kokushibō would rely on you to guide her in proper conduct. On the other hand, if you had a son, he would take it upon himself to teach him. [Considering his traditional beleifs]
▪︎There would be many things Kokushibō would teach your child—introducing anything and everything he could. One of which included—
"Here.. I wanted to share this with you.."
▪︎'Go'. Aside from all the trainings and whatnot, Kokushibō would enjoy spending time playing strategic board games with his young one. He didn't just play; he carefully watched every move his child made, trying to understand their thought process. This way, he could anticipate their strategies, pushing them further to think even more critically.
▪︎Kokushibō would provide feedback on every move his child made. If there was a mistake, he would express his disappointment, at times suggesting alternative strategies and what else could have been done. On the other hand, if the move was clever, he would offer praise.
▪︎Despite this, Kokushibō always found a way to twist the game in his favour, making it nearly impossible to win against him each time.
▪︎Kokushibō would not only be a father but also a teacher, quick to teach your young one.
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▪︎Unlike his own father, Kokushibō would be much more understanding. He would be strict in terms of his child's behaviour, how they conducted themselves, and even in the way of the sword. However, he would also allow them the freedom to explore their interests and to do whatever they wished, recognising the limitations he faced during his own upbringing.
▪︎As for the breathing styles, Kokushibō would ideally want his child to learn sun breathing, but since he couldn't master it himself, he would opt to teach them moon breathing instead. If the child wasn't strong enough, he would be disappointed but wouldn't mind too much. In fact, he would encourage them to perfect their breathing techniques no matter what style they used.
▪︎Kokushibō's approach to training was quite rigorous. He pushed his child to their limits with each exercise, ensuring that consistency and discipline were maintained. While he provided the training, the actual learning and understanding were left to his child. He didn't believe in spoon-feeding knowledge. After all, it was important for them to grow to be independent and make their own decisions.
▪︎Many a times, Kokushibō would take your child to fight demons and train with them [perhaps even fight a hashira if they encountered one]. He would stand back in the distance and observe them silently. He would not intervene in any way; whatever decisions the child made were theirs and not his; each mistake was a lesson, something he would remind them of after the fight, incorporating those lessons into their training for improvement.
▪︎Kokushibō would nurture and raise his child in such a way that they would be disciplined and incredibly determined, striving for excellence much like their own father.
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▪︎Speaking of determined, there was a time, however, when your child would not eat or drink, training and pushing themselves to the maximum, which caused you a great deal of concern. Kokushibō, however, appeared rather unfazed by this, expressing that it was commendable how seriously his child was taking the art of swordsmanship and that he even felt moved.
▪︎But then those few hours stretched into many, and nearly a whole day had passed without your child taking even a sip of water. This was the moment when Kokushibō would finally step in—
"Enough.."The demon stood beside his child, his six eyes fixed intently on them. The child was bleeding from their hands, their muscles worn out and pushed to the limit. "No.. I must not give up..!" Just as the child prepared to swing the wooden sword again, before they could even react, the sword would suddenly be snatched and tossed aside, landing far from reach. "There.. is no benefit in continuing. Your body.. has already reached it's maximum exertion. Whatever you are practicing now is pointless.. rest now and continue tomorrow." "But I need to perfect my—" "You are doing yourself more harm than good.. the state you are in.. you will not be able to practice tomorrow.. an entire day.. would be wasted. It would disrupt your progress. Is that.. what you want?"
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▪︎In conclusion, Kokushibō would definitely be a strict father . This means you might find yourself being the more nurturing parent.
▪︎But that is not to say he cannot be compassionate; deep down, he holds great love for his child. His strictness stems from the fact that he wants to see his child excel and be the utmost best; even surpass him one day.
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cmkren · 3 days ago
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— a human’s touch
; house x gn! reader
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Maybe in some other lifetime romanticism wasn’t lost to House. That he had grown into a man capable of giving clear-cut affections— and capable of receiving it as well. The first ever puzzle he never wanted to solve, and it was of his heart. You, on the other hand, couldn’t give a damn about it all. You tied yourself to him after all.
In your lap, maybe that fact of House’s could be forgotten. For an hour or two.
a/n: i’ve never written for house, or house md at all. Currently in s4, and I’m just so attached to this crowd of misfits. I’m sorry if he ends up ooc— I just wanted to write something as close to fluff as I can with house LMAO 😭
tws; nothing you wouldn’t find in the show — 1.08k words
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“What, are we playing mommy and her sexually frustrated boytoy? I don’t recall putting this into the search bar.”
“I don’t think you’re young and spry enough to be playing the pool boy in this scenario. Take as much offence as you’d want to that shocking revelation.”
Despite the very particular banter, nothing nefarious was happening in this scene. It was quite normal actually. In the tidiness of his apartment the two steeped in each other’s presence. Steeped may have been a strange word for it, but it fit the two. House was chatty like always, but even now and then he had grown quiet. Either getting caught by a specific feature of his partner (still thick on his tongue, not something he ever says really) or deep in his own thoughts.
What prompted him to make the off handed remark? Some might ask, especially when they were having such a peaceful moment!
The obvious answer would be because he’s House. What else was he supposed to do? The not-so-obvious answer was the strange feeling in his chest, as his head lay against the thighs of the person he oh-so cautiously let pull him down to such a position. If he turned his head sideways, you’d most certainly feel the prick of his unkempt beard.
He flexes his fingers, arms sort of kept… limp. Close to his chest. The pale blue of his eyes looking up to the other, brow wrinkled into a furrow as he felt awkward. He only allowed himself to be so hesitant for a second more before he went slack jawed and widened his eyes— a mockery of coming to another ‘revelation’.
“Oh! Pray tell me then, what are we?” Spoken like a young teenager picking out lines from a rom-com they watched the day before to aid them in romantic endeavours. His arms even moving just the slightest to resemble a ‘gosh darn it!’ kind of movement. That garnered an amused noise out of you, your hand very gently resting atop his mess of hair.
“Not we, you. What you are, is a man who can’t even sit still and let me dote on you. So I resorted to,” your free hand gestured to him. Legs stretched and resting on the arm rest of his couch, his head comfortably in your lap, “this.”
Then it was House’s turn to give a little snort.
“What you’ve resorted to is crippling a cripple. Can’t move! Should I go dial 911? Or are you going to kick my legs from behind just as I reach my phone?” This time, there wasn’t any sort of sound akin to laughter. Instead, you gave the hairs atop his head a bit of a tug. A warning.
A grunt left him, his eye wincing a little from the sensation but his wit outran any sort of complaint, “Pineapple! Oh— right we aren’t doing anything like that.” He still shot you a half-hearted look. All the playing around didn’t get him anything but a gentle expression though, a soft look in your eye that said that you would put up with him more than he could ever dream of.
A look he’d seen, but never truly appreciated. He wasn’t quite sure if he did so, even now.
“I would tell you to stop being stupid, but I know I could never stop that.”
“Wow, thanks.”
The way you leaned down to give press a kiss atop his forehead spoke to the fact that you never meant any malice or exasperation in their words. Sure, there was bound to be exhaustion, everyone had breaking points. You were always so lenient with him. Even if you wouldn’t admit that yourself.
Suppose in a way, they understood each other like that.
House didn’t react much to the kiss. You gave a lot of those, so. He didn’t say anything though, so that was either a good indication or a bad indication. 50/50, who knows maybe you should flip a coin.
“Good day at the hospital?” You mumbled, slowly twirling the short strands on his head, coiling them around your fingers. House’s face visibly relaxed, only flexing and moving as he responded. “Oh, yeah, like Santa’s little workshop there. Bundle of joy, fun bright lights.” He muttered, eyes closing for a moment.
Everyone knew that his days were full of pain. He made sure everyone knew, actually. Always made sure that everyone had to be dragged down with him. With you though, he toned it down. Just a little bit.
Your hand caressed the side of his face, gliding down the rough surface and down his scraggly beard. Mindless shapes formed along his skin, his eyes trained on your face. Whether your face would contort the longer you looked at him. As if waiting for you to have a revelation of your own— that he wasn’t who you wanted to spend your time with. That’d you’d wake up soon. Wake up from the dream you seemed so content with, him in your lap and the carefulness of your gestures.
“Something on my face?” Your hand trailed back up to his cheekbone, before pinching the skin there. A smile on your face, for him. For a moment, he stayed silent. Lips that were once parted were now pursed into a tight line, furrow of his brows suggested that he was thinking again.
The longer you waited though, the lighter your touch became. As if you were drawing back. An end to a gentle moment.
“No,” his hands shot up, taking yours in his own. His eyes firm, before they would soften and close as he brought your hands to his face. “Keep it this way a little longer.” For once, not a quip. A moment of genuine love, one that came out of him thinking this was all but fleeting.
In reality, you hardly moved at all.
You were just going to shift, hopefully making him more comfortable if he had felt the position a little awkward. Instead he cradled your hands as if they were the one thing keeping him off his pills. Even just for a short amount of time. Your shoulders went lax, tilting your head as you gave a faint smile. “Okay.” Was all you said.
“I’d rather have you touch me than the old reliables here,” one of his hands let go, giving a bit of a jazzy shake as if to emphasize, “god knows I’ve touched myself enough. Your hands are softer.” You snorted.
“I don’t doubt it.”
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i-am-xp-64 · 21 hours ago
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Lost combat the proven
Help help..-
As the car drive to an old wood house, Zachary carried lim who was unconscious to the basement, where he kept Thomas at
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"Hey heeyy..look what I got for you Thomas~"
Zachary throw lim on the floor next to Thomas who was tied up, he let out a chuckle as he get an axe but struggled to find any rope
"What the..oh that tab freak! He taken all the ropes for that damn cult again?? Ugh anyway, that kid can just rot there!"
Zachary whined as he put back the axe, he mumble curses as he went up to call tab about it
Meanwhile Thomas did nothing but stared at lim, his son who was hit on the head, he knew lim is an I'm dead so he won't die but he was still worried about him, he tried so hard not to cry so at least he won't scare lim when he woke up, he waited there all tied and afraid, thinking how's the others are like right now
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-Meanwhile-
Jett came out of the therapy place early to go check the others as he come across Vicky on the street, he cursed as she approaches
"𝐽𝑒𝑡𝑡?..𝑤ℎ𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑑𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔 𝑜𝑢𝑡 𝑠𝑜 𝑙𝑎𝑡𝑒?"
"Girl shut up..you don't know what we had this week, anyway, you also going to the house?"
"𝑌-𝑦𝑒𝑎ℎ..𝑤𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑜 𝑔𝑜𝑖𝑛𝑔, 𝑙𝑒𝑡'𝑠 𝑔𝑜 𝑡𝑜𝑔𝑒𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛^^"
Jett just sighed as he just nobbed
As they walked near the house, they noticed the door were wide open and there were a little blood on the car road near, Jett looked inside as he called for lim, bit no sounds happened
As jett looking around the house, Vicky go straight to Thomas's and lim's rooms, she alarmed jett that they were not in the house, both panicked as an old neighbor come to the door calling them as they stared
"Excuse me young ones..you two love here?"
"Almost..?"
With out saying anything, the old lady hand them some photos she taken, it was from an old camera but it was showns that lim were taken away and Thomas drive it off, the lady just left as she were nervous as jett and Vicky study the photos to see what's going on
As that, monster, conner and Albert came in, Albert were just came from the surgery and monster helped him walk, meanwhile they were saw conner as he approached and tell monster about the police call that talked around the neighborhood and included their friends, Vicky and jett alarmed them as they shown the photos, monster and conner focused on the photos and others actually surprise to see Albert a little odd
"𝑀𝑟 𝐴𝑙𝑏𝑒𝑟𝑡?..𝑦𝑜𝑢 𝑠𝑒𝑒 𝑎 𝑙𝑖𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒...𝑑𝑖𝑓𝑓𝑒𝑟𝑒𝑛𝑡?"
"𝐃𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐚𝐬𝐤..𝐢 𝐰𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞."
Albert told them everything, including the argument he had with Thomas
"𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐪𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭..𝐢𝐟 𝐈 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐛𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟..𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐮𝐬 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐠𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐦 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐓𝐡𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐬..𝐦𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦"
"Dude shut it, you think Thomas would randomly say all that of he knew this would happen to you? Get your ass together"
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Vicky was confused and Albert were sad, meanwhile conner and monster chat thru about the clues
"This car was seen at the old kidnap case of Thomas before..same car, same details, it could be the same kidnapper who taken or mind control Thomas to kidnap lim."
"I think you're right..i will alarm the cops"
"No don't! If that triggers the kidnapper, they'll kill them both"
"𝐽𝑒𝑡𝑡'𝑠 𝑎𝑐𝑡𝑢𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑟𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡..𝑤𝑒 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑛 𝑘𝑛𝑜𝑤 𝑡ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑘𝑖𝑑𝑛𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑜 𝑖𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑏𝑒 𝑎𝑛 𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑘𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑡𝑟𝑎𝑝.."
The others talk as they try to make a plan, meanwhile Albert were felt too guilty to even join in, keep remembering Thomas's words and believed that it was quite his fault, but this time, he lift his head up as he thinked
"𝐍𝐨..𝐢 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬...𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭'𝐬..𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝..."
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Albert snapped from his thoughts as he ran outside, notice the car tracks that car left and he began to follow them, monster noticed Albert was gone but before she even do anything, Andrew came in, monster didn't stop, ran out to the police department to alarm as others explain the situation
After an hour later, Zachary was pissed as a lot as he stare at the criminal photo of tab being caught this morning
"Ugh!..i knew I should've do this alone.."
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But as he slowly approach to the basement, a gun click sound came and Zachary just froze there
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"𝐒𝐚𝐲 𝐡𝐢 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞."
Albert said as he pull the trigger
BANG BANG💥💥
Zachary fell to the floor as he been shot on the shoulder and leg, Albert walked pass him as he approach to Thomas and lim
To be continue..
@weirdsillycreature @astrodrawz @victiniiiii
Yeah I couldn't able to fit the full one in this so there will be a next chapter, sorry..😅
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musedeluce · 17 hours ago
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Exhaustion
Love and Deepspace Headcanons - You're so tired, all you want to do is sleep and go to see them. They're in the same situation.
A/N: Canonically, in the game we have a motorcycle hence the assumption the MC has their own transportation. Assume they're wearing the proper protective gear and that it's easy to get off XD (Though I know biker gear can be quite hard to actually take off. Just go with it pls lol) Brought to you by me being tired as hell, and thinking it would be nice to be able to go to someone and rest. ^J^
Tags/Warnings: Fluff, exhaustion, loneliness.
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Work had been rather grueling, long, and tedious, all in one, and there was still more to do. Sighing internally, you shot off a text in order to sadly, cancel the plans you had to visit. It looked like you'd have to stay at least an extra 10 hours, due to extremely unforeseen and urgent circumstances for the Hunter's Association.
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Your final message felt inadequate to convey the warmth and happiness you felt knowing that he wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see him. Bolstered, the rest of the shitshow was just a bit easier to deal with as you had something to look forward to.
Wind whipping around you, the ride was something you needed. The sense of freedom, the speed, the music and the lights all gave you a sense of solace as you headed towards your destination.
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Xavier
You appreciated the irony as the elevator passed your floor and stopped at his. As you approached his door, you finally let yourself feel the exhaustion weighing down on you. Your body felt heavier, and it took more effort to move. Sleepiness hovered just beyond consciousness, and you fought it off. Looking at your watch, you sigh. 3:07, your estimate had been right on the money.
Still, despite how tired you were, you did want to see Xavier, even if this visit would probably just amount to you sleeping over.
Knocking to make Xavier aware of your arrival, you're just about to enter the door code, when it opens and Xavier stands before you, his arms open for a hug.
Wordlessly, you accept his invitation, hugging him tightly. His embrace is firm, warm and comforting and you can't help but relax into him.
"I thought you'd be asleep." You murmur softly, hugging him just as tightly.
"I woke up when I heard your bike." He nuzzles his face into your neck. "It's the signal for your arrival after all." Reluctantly, he breaks the embrace as you pull away to take off your shoes and put your satchel, helmet and jacket on one of the hooks. He makes his way back to his bed, turning to look at you as you follow, undressing down to your underwear.
Collapsing into the soft blankets, you burrow under the sheets with him. Xavier carefully, gently adjusts your position so you lay against him, your head resting on his arm, your back against his chest. Together, you drift off to sleep.
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Sylus
Unsurprisingly, he met you at the entrance to Onychinus Headquarters
"Sweetie, I would have preferred picking you up." Sylus takes your helmet and satchel from you, handing them off to the twins to deal with. "How rude of them to overwork you like this." Normally, you'd respond in kind, a fun playful exchange that flowed naturally. But frankly, you were too tired to really talk.
He gazed at you, taking everything about you in, and after he did so all he did was wordlessly kneel down and support you as he took off your shoes. "You look exhausted, Kitten. Let me help you." Sylus slips your jacket off your shoulders
Providing support, he guides you towards his room. You're absolutely sure that if he thought you'd allow it, he'd pick you up and carry you, but he didn't. You appreciated it as you much prefer to walk on your own, when you can. "I took the time to fluff your pillow
You may be tired, so much so that its obvious that once you relax you'll fall alseep, but you are very good at ignoring it, soldiering though until your body decides to force sleep.
How lucky it is then, that you can go to Sylus and rest, before it comes to that.
Ultimately, you crawl onto Sylus's bed and collapse, and he's not far behind, climbing in with you despite his wonky sleep schedule.
He faces you, pulling your head into his chest and your body flush against him as you both drift off for some much needed sleep. You feel safe and relaxed with his arms around you.
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Zayne
Unfortunately, this was a more common occurrence than either of you would like. Both of your jobs were quite intense and often required long hours.
Still, you both made a conscious effort to make time for each other, even if it ended up being strange hours sometimes. The times he got home before you were not rare, but infrequent, and this was one of these time.
Taking of your gear and shoes as you entered his home, you hoped that he was at least resting, hopefully asleep. It was something he deserved, and right now all you wanted to do was rest with him.
A warm glow cascaded over the room, making you smile. Zayne had left a light on for you.
Padding softly through the foyer, you quietly open the door to his room, making sure the light from outside doesn't disturb him. Much to your relief, Zayne was sleeping peacefully, his handsome face relaxed. He had an unguarded quality about him that you rarely saw.
A rush of affection suddenly overcame you. Carefully, you went over to him and kissed his forehead. As you withdrew, you felt him grab your hand, his eyes still closed. "Stay here" he murmured, his voice gentle and low, hazy with sleep as his hand falls from yours.
You move over to your side, ensconcing yourself in bed, growing cozy and warm with him next to you.
He gravitates towards you, intertwining his legs with yours and nuzzling his head into your neck, and you fall asleep, your eyes gently closing as you're tangled together comfortably.
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Rafayel
The solitary lamplight from Rafayel's studio illuminates the path as you walk up to his door. Although he had given you a key, you knock gently, just in case Rafayel was absorbed in his art.
A small clatter sounds after you knock, and you can't help but feel amused despite the haze of tiredness dulling your senses.
When he opens the door, a playful, soft smile pulls at his lips. "I don't suppose you have any news of my wayward companion?" He steps aside and helps you with your gear and shoes.
"Hmmm I think I have some news. It seems your companion has made it to their destination." Rafayel cleans up the box of paintbrushes he spilled, making sure your path is clear.
"Well! Now that they've arrived, they can't leave for a while. It's mean of them to leave me alone for so long, and so often." His pout is playful, his eyes focused on you as he intertwines his fingers in yours, holding your hand gently, as if it was some priceless thing, something to be cherished and treated with care.
You squeeze his hand as the two of you make your way to his room, his bed looking like the most luxurious, comfortable place in the world despite it really just being a slightly messy, normal bed.
"As much as your wayward traveler loves to explore, I'm sure they love being here too and would always make an effort to return to you." With that, you climb onto bed, letting go of his hand, your exhaustion amplifying the soreness of your body, making every movement take extra effort. As soon as you're comfortable, you open your arms to Rafayel, who had merely just stood beside his bed as you did so.
You open your arms for him, and he joins you in bed, almost clinging to you under the covers, entangling all his limbs with yours and burying his face into your neck, head resting on your chest, near your shoulder. "I missed you." Together you drift of, feeling safe and sound with each other under the covers.
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your-absolute-destiny · 2 days ago
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Offscreen Post
The first thing Lucky noticed once she exited the Pelipper was just how big Gen’s house was.
It was far larger than her own home, with three stories, and many windows allowing a peek inside, though curtains obscured much of what laid within. It had a front yard, too, with a tree on the right side of a path to the front door.
It was almost like a mansion. Almost. Almost enough to distract herself from her situation.
But not quite.
She was so in awe at the house, that she almost missed the front door opening, and a small creature waddling out. It looked almost like an Oshawott, but had a fin atop its head, and a large curly tail. It also wore some sort of red hood.
That must be Gen.
Gen waddled towards Lucky, fidgeting with the hood he wore. His tail slowly swayed from side to side, as he came face to face with her.
“Um…L-Lucky?” Gen asked, looking up at her. “I, uh. I’m g-glad you made it here s-safely.”
“I'm glad too,” Lucky said quietly, still scared after the sudden changes to her body and nervous about this new housing arrangement falling through.
“I, uh. I-I have something I need t-to confess to you,” Gen says, beginning to tremble.
Panic coursed throughout the already shaken girl. What was it? Did they not have enough space for her after all? Was she going to have to go back?
“What's wrong?” Lucky asks, as calmly as she can in this scenario, which is to say not very much.
“...m-my family, uh. We, um…” Gen takes a deep breath, then admits, “We’ve b-been housing d-dark types. And fairy, gh-ghost, and psychic types.”
“What!?” Lucky exclaims, alarmed at the idea of having to share space with such types, before remembering she herself is a dark type now. Before she could continue, though, Gen spoke again.
“...I’m s-sorry,” Gen says, looking down. “I j-just. I saw your blog, w-with so many people being mean to you, a-and…you just seemed s-so alone. I thought y-you could use a friend.”
“Thank you, I really did need one. Still need one right now, actually, since I don't have any others anymore.” Lucky felt tears threaten to fall from her eyes at the reminder that she could no longer return home.
“...um. W-would you like a hug?” Gen asks, looking back up at Lucky.
The dam bursts at the offer, and tears spill freely.
“Yes!” Lucky all but yells before choking out a sob.
Gen waddles closer, and puts his paws around one of Lucky’s forelegs, while wrapping his tail around her other foreleg.
It takes a second for Lucky to realize that this is hugging but eventually she gets it, leaning down to rest her head on top of Gen's. It's nothing like the hugs she used to get from her mother whenever she felt this upset, but it was the best she was going to get.
After a bit of hugging, Gen eventually pulls away, and turns around. “Um, r-ready to go inside?”
The absol hybrid shoved down the urge to say ‘No, I'm not. I want to go home and pretend this never happened now!’ because as much as she wished to do that, it wasn't an option.
“I'm ready.”
And so, the two of them walked forth, into Lucky’s new home.
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f1tales · 19 hours ago
Text
i was enchanted to meet you - cs55
i was enchanted to meet you || part two
previous part || next part
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pairing: carlos sainz x singer!ofc
summary: carlos and lennon meet in 2019 in baku. everything changes after that.
faceclaim: none.
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Lennon wasn’t quite sure what prompted her to go out with a bunch of strangers. Maybe it was the fact that she’d been bored as fuck in the States. Sure, performing was great. She loved connecting with her fans. She loved getting up on stage in front of them every single night. It always brought a smile to her face when she heard them sing the words back to her.
But she missed going out for parties. And she missed nights out. She envied her dancers and band who would go for the occasional night out during the tour whilst she stayed back at the hotel with her mother cause she’s not twenty-one yet.
She finished applying lipstick when there was a loud knock on the door. She put the lipstick down on the vanity in her hotel room. She peeped through the hole in the door, to see her brother standing there with his hands in his pockets.
They had dinner with their father before. Lennon felt slightly guilty for leaving him after dinner to go for a night out, but he assured her it was fine. He was tired from the long weekend anyway. Beckett had obviously invited himself.
She opened the door to let her brother in. He impatiently stomped inside. Her eyes followed after him, her eyebrows raised wide. “The sass,” she muttered under her breath as she closed the door. She found her brother going through the mini bar in the room.
“Are you wearing that?”
Lennon frowned down at her outfit. She hadn’t really anticipated that she’d be going out to a club whens he was packing her suitcase a few days ago. So she had to make do with what she did bring. She turned away from her brother to stare at the outfit in the mirror.
She ran her hands down her black mini skirt. And her eyes fell on the red, long sleeve top she was wearing. She shrugged as she looked at her brother through the mirror. She liked her outfit.
“Well, I mean,” she bit her lip, “I didn’t bring anything else that is even remotely saying wear me to a night out.” The young singer sat down on her bed to pull the black boots she had brought with her on. “And I’m not there to score a date, so.”
And so the siblings found themselves in a taxi only ten minutes after that. Alex had messaged her on Instagram to give her the address for the club. He told her they were already there. And that nobody believed that Alex had invited the actual Lennon Sage. She was told that Alex had made sure that both she and Beckett would be on the guest list.
She lightly scrunched up her nose when the two siblings entered the nightclub. It wasn’t the worst club that Lennon had ever been to, but she had assumed that now that she had been invited for a night out by Formula 1 drivers the club would be a bit more exclusive. Beckett’s loud sniff made Lennon think he had the same thought.
As Alex had said, the two siblings were on the guest list and were let inside without much of a hassle. But the club was pretty run down, so she didn’t really understand why there was a guest list in the first place. They made a beeline for the bar. Beckett picked up the drinks menu. He flicked through the pages with a less than impressed expression on his face. Lennon giggled when her brother impatiently called the bartender over.
“Two gin-lemons please.”
Beckett looked around as he slammed the drinks menu down on the bar again. His eyes scanned the dodgy club they had somehow ended up in. Lennon rolled her eyes at her brother’s diva-like behaviour. She took her card from her purse as the bartender came back with the two drinks her brother had ordered before. She smiled at him and thanked him for the drinks before handing one to her brother.
“Come on, let’s find Alex and then you can go and find someone to take home later.”
Before going inside, Alex texted her saying that they were in a booth in the back of the club. So the siblings weaved their way through the mass of sweating, dancing bodies. A sigh of relief left her mouth when she found Alex with a group of guys near the back of the club.
“Ah, if it isn’t Lenny Penny!”
Alex grinned as he wrapped an arm around the singer’s shoulder. Lennon squinted her eyes as she looked at him. Can you believe this guy? They met a few hours ago and here he is, acting as if they’ve been best mates for their whole lives.
The two guys that Alex had been talking to had stopped their conversation and now looked at the pair with their mouths nearly hanging on the floor. She had turned around to see where her brother had gone, but he was already long lost in the crowd; grinding against some half-drunk guy.
Typical.
“Let me introduce you to the gang,” Alex said, “these idiots are George and Lando.” Lennon waved at the two open-mouthed guys in front of her. “Over there,” she followed the direction in which Alex was pointing, “we’ve got Max and Charles.”
The two guys Alex pointed to sat in the same booth, drinks in front of them, but they weren’t speaking. They weren’t even looking at one another. She vaguely heard Alex say something about how they’ve been beefing since they were children. And that they should get over themselves. Lennon had chuckled at that.
“Carlos and Daniel should be back in a minute. They went to the toilet and to get us all another round of drinks.”
Lennon fell in an easy conversation with the three Brits. Well, easy after Lando had gotten over the fact that he was talking to “the Lennon Sage! Like only the best songwriter of our generation!”
Lennon had blushed furiously at the compliment. But after that, conversation flowed easily. She was very intrigued by their careers; impressed at the fact how young they were when they started karting. She learned that all three of them were rookies; which she then learned meant that they were in their first year of Formula 1.
New drinks were trusted into their hands about five minutes into the conversation. A guy with an Australian accent had trusted the drinks in their hands. She giggled at the way Lando’s face scrunched up. She finished off the last of her drink before looking back at Lando, who happily trusted his full glass in her hands in exchange for her empty one.
Lennon’s eyes widened when the familiar tune of Reggaetón Lento started playing. She looked at the guys in front of her. They all looked equally afraid of the expression on her face. 
“Come on, pretty boys,” she said, “let’s go dancing.”
She grabbed Lando’s wrist as he was standing closest to her. Lando in his turn tried to grab either Alex or George’s wrist but both boys backed off before he could reach them. They grinned as they watched how Lando was pulled onto the dancefloor. Lennon grinned at the blush that had crept onto his face.
“Oh come on,” she shook her head. Lennon wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close. “Just follow my lead, yeah?” Her hands moved from his shoulders down to his waist. She swayed her hips to the beat of the music and tried her best to have Lando follow her movements. She leaned up to his ear, “you have to loosen up a little.”
He squeaked out an ‘okay’ and tried to follow her.
From the side of the dancefloor, Alex and George watched with their mouths wide open as Lando was now dancing to a slow reggaeton song with Lennon. As if! The previous song had changed into Fonsi’s Échame la Culpa. Lennon’s hips swayed freely to the song as Lando spun her around a few times.
Lennon could feel a pair of eyes on her from where she was standing previously. As she danced with Lando, her eyes met a gorgeous pair of brown eyes. A blush crept onto her cheeks when the man didn’t look away from her, not even when he took a sip of his beer. Her eyes stayed focussed on the man that sat next to Max now. Even when Lando grabbed her waist and turned her around, her back to his front.
His eyes stayed on her even as Lando excused himself to get something to drink. The song changed to Traicionera by Sebastian Yatra. Across the room Lennon saw how the man excused himself from the guys in the booth. They maintained eye contact as Lennon swayed her hips to the familiar beat of the song she loved so much. Her eyes followed as his silhouette made his way across the dancefloor to her.
Lennon swallowed the lump in her throat as she felt his hands rest on her hips. He pulled her close and in no time they were dancing to the EDM beats that were now blaring through the club. Lennon pouted slightly; she preferred the reggaeton music they were playing before. 
“Have we met before?”
Lennon shook her head as he whispered in her ear. She was fairly certain he was a driver, though, or at least related to the F1 world. Seeing as he was sitting with Max, Charles and the Australian who handed Lando that drink before.“Come on,” he grabbed her hand when the song changed again and laced their fingers together, “let’s get a drink.”
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next part coming soon
the divider is by @/enchanthings || original post
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solitaryandwandering · 3 days ago
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A Ramble: Love in the Big City Eps 7-8
WOW. WOW. OKAY. I've been letting episode 8 sink in for the last couple hours, jotting down notes and just generally absorbing this wonderful show. So beautiful. I'm so glad I put aside time to watch this and talk about it with y'all. Just another heads-up: this is a RAMBLE. My thoughts on things usually change, like 15 minutes after I upload these. But they still matter! So I hope they inspire you to think more about your own interpretations or what the show meant to you.
Let's start off with cinematography, shall we? I talked a little about this yesterday, but this director's style is one I tend to gravitate to. I was searching for a way to describe it during the entirety of today's episode and I think I landed on it: "delicate." Not necessarily fragile but lighter in touch. Her style also feels relatively naturalistic. She's intentional in what she does with her camera and what she asks of her actors but the majority of what happens here translates as less-choreographed. Movement is clearly blocked but feels looser? Yeong's behavior specifically reminds me of how freely he moved in the first part. He’s still weighed down and grieving but it feels like Gyu Ho still did something good for him. He feels much more mature, that's for sure. Or maybe this is just coming across more as he visits Bangkok and his relationship with Gyu Ho?
I've also been struggling for a way to describe the lighting in this section - it's definitely intentional but is not as stylized as it was in the last section. I don't think "flat" is the right descriptor, but I do think they're using much more ambient lighting. It's all still pretty, I'm not using this as a negative. The coloring feels kind of dim in parts; I mentioned yesterday that I was reminded a lot of what is considered "indie" cinema which is a very broad statement. Again, what I think I'm picking up on is less reliance on studio lighting or highly-stylized camera blocking. I know for a fact they are not using handheld camera at least for the vast majority of these episodes but it still feels like they are.
Kim Se In actually does quite a bit to achieve her naturalistic style; she utilizes dirty framing (objects or people in the foreground), off-center angles or unique perspectives, and hides some of her more stylized choices with neutral coloring. She usually sticks to medium close-ups; when she doesn't utilize these she still chooses similarly-proportioned framing. Her camera actually moves quite a bit, though I found that they seem to move with what the viewer would naturally be looking at. She's not trying to direct our attention anywhere else. We are moving along with what is happening on screen and in the narrative. When comparing her camera movements to those of Part 1, for instance, she is not as sharp or pointed. Nor are her actors as energized; both the camera and the actors move more languidly or smoothly in comparison. The way she directs her actors around props feels different, too. But maybe that's just me. The score they use across these two episodes is also really interesting, though I'm not really qualified to speak on why.
Visual barriers are a BIG one in this part. We get so many shots of the viewer (or character) looking through curtains, bars in windows, glass walls of a shower, etc. My favorite shot in this part was in episode 8, when Yeong and Gyu Ho are in that really shitty room in Bangkok. They're lying on their backs on the bed, sweaty, and the ceiling fan blades cut between them and the camera. As they talk about the fan falling and smashing them into burger patties, the camera steadily presses in on the two of them until they’re both partially cut off by the frame. Stylized, but not unobtrusively so. It especially fits because it's within the context of a flashback.
Though all four parts feel distinct there are common visual themes throughout all four parts. Mirrors are a big one. But we see a direct contrast in style in the flashback sequences which overlap with the prior section’s. Specifically with the two of them in the boat and running back to the hotel. In the prior depiction it felt more romantic, sunnier with a pretty score. The both of them are happy, carefree, Gyu Ho is helping to roll down the tarp, and I think less people are on the boat? I’ll have to double check. It’s interesting that the flashback does not feel as romantic as it did when they lived it. The way he remembers it, he became bothered as soon as it started raining and was more short with Gyu Ho. The light is dimmer and the camera angles less romantic. They’re also lying side by side instead of in different directions. What is more accurate? What they felt in the glow or after? He definitely blames himself so much for the way their relationship went.
The last thing I'll point out is how cool her use of zooms were. There’s a moment in the market where the camera literally focuses in on Yeong and Gyu Ho like a home video camera. She KILLED ME.
Habibi was such an interesting character to have around in this last section. A direct contrast to Gyu Ho and someone Yeong saw himself in. Lonely and closed-off. In their time together they were alone but keeping each other company in their loneliness. In his flashbacks we can see how happy Gyu Ho made Yeong and how much life he brought. With Habibi he's trying to revisit some of that energy, pushing each other to live. When they're drinking together it's to feel something, to grow closer to someone else. When they walk away one of them says “The taste was never important” - ultimately, though they allowed each other an escape and levity, they will not be able to experience flavor, not the kind which comes with a life fully lived.
I love the way this show was able to feel like a completely cohesive effort despite having four different directors at the helm. Themes I picked up on in other episodes: queer loneliness, heteronormativity (and its relationship to misogyny), ownership, distance, shame, and honesty/communication are all present in every episode. In this part, though, I was just thinking of emptiness. That, and what we do to fill it. Is it an act of futility to try, or is that the whole point?
Everything is empty. Rooms, empty doorways, physical and emotional space between people, soy sauce bottles, the space Gyu Ho used to occupy, relationships, balloons. The future. Yeong, Habibi, and even Eun Su are filling a void. In episode 7 especially it felt that Yeong's life had become empty and unmoving, with occasional intrusions from others who brought activity but not exactly fulfillment. Everyone wants to escape. In chasing his past, trying to determine what's fake and what's real, Yeong found his distraction in Habibi. Yeong and Habibi fill an empty stairwell with laughter, chasing adrenaline and a taste of life. When he's not there, Yeong faces his past and must reconcile with what has been lost.
In the end, what they are searching for is life. Yeong chooses to “live wholly" as himself and suggests Habibi do the same. Eun Sui leaves his unfulfilling relationship. I can only hope that Yeong will learn to take his life back from Kylie and anything which would constrain him. Instead of his life going by in a flash, I can only hope he can find the courage to face it with eyes wide open. Instead of pulling away from others because of disgust with himself, I can only hope he can learn to work through his shame.
Go Yeong means to shine high and bright. He tells Habibi that he's not a star but a nuclear bomb. I hope he doesn't condemn himself to loneliness anymore.
In the end, all he wishes for is love.
Perhaps love is about sharing ourselves, exactly as we are.
Thanks for reading my incoherent, over-written rambles! I was gonna write way more but it was becoming increasingly long and nonsensical. I loved this show, 10/10. Will 100% be reading the book after I finish the two I'm working on. Thank you @lurkingshan and @bengiyo for opening up a space for everyone to come together and talk about LITBC!
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imorynn · 16 hours ago
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── ᯓ between fleeting moments and significant interactions ᡣ𐭩
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ᯓ pairing: alice wu-gulliver 〆 fem!reader
ᯓ genre : fluff, mentions of alice’s family trauma , emotional struggle and alice discovering her feelings for you, descriptions of internal conflicts, anxieties, self-doubt coming from alice , mild workplace tension
ᯓ word count : 3.7k
ᯓ author’s note : i’m between contemplating if i like the way this turned out and actually loving this very much — i adore alice so much — she deserved the world i freaking swear ohmygosh — those reading this piece and carrying that same strong love for our girl, alice, lol, i hope you enjoy this ! I look forward to writing for different characters within the coven <33
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── IF ALICE WU-GULLIVER were to attempt recalling every interaction she had with you — a task she had long since lost track of after the first 25 — the most probable outcome would be likely to find herself flabbergasted. It was as though she'd never truly thought about how often paths crossed with others until you came into the hers. The majority of those encounters had been trivial, almost forgettable, their significance lost in the blur of everyday routine. But some of them, the ones that lingered just under the surface, held a weight she was not entirely ready to acknowledge. Those moments, though seemingly casual, seemed inevitable — after all, you shared the same workspace, the same environment. But even so, there was something more to them, something that stirred her in ways she couldn’t quite put into words. She told herself they were just a product of proximity, of the placement. Yet, deep down, Alice knew — if only subconsciously — that there was more to it. She was not ready to admit it, but she found herself looking forward to those fleeting exchanges, a little too often, and a little too much.
The first, perhaps, was the day when she had, much to her dismay and recommended to, submitted an application for a rather favored clothing store by this generation. That clothing store being none other than Hot Topic.
“You start next week. Mall opens at 10, so get here an hour early, sharp. You greet, and you make sure no one shoplifts. Don’t screw it up, got it? I’m gonna be checking in on ya, but the one who’s gonna be showing you a bit around should be here any minute. Don’t screw that up, either.” were the words the store’s manager ( and security guard who stood mere feet outside the store ) had curtly uttered to her the second the employee’s uniform came into her hold. ‘Don’t screw it up.’ A phrase she collided with too often, if she was sincere. Screwing up came with the misfortune of the curse that had become a part of her. And it seemed that misfortune had been set in motion the second you came entering those open doors, and the words, “Ah, there she is.” came tumbling out of his mouth.
A screw-up (— if not incidental such as pretty much all the ones that came with the consequences of the curse —) had come across her midway through her fast-paced walk — with the slight determination to get to the shop because she indeed needed this shop — before she had officially received her employee shirt. It had been a minor, unintentional act on her part, it being her bumping into you on her way past the escalator. Alice has had her fair share of people not liking her for the simplest of reasons, and she rather not have another person apart from them being a stranger not liking her — just to play it safe. She had inhaled sharply — involuntarily drawing in a fragrance enriched with something floral and sweet clinging to this person’s sweater — wanting to be proper with her apology towards the person her shoulder had just jabbed, and she could not help pausing midway as her head tilted up. That was the first time she had laid eyes on you; your wide eyes were, to put it frankly, very pretty and shockingly bright despite the furrow of your brows, and hair styled in a way that framed your features. She was a bit mesmerized, not sure if it was an under or overstatement, until you cleared your throat, cheek hoisting into what seemed a tiny — distasteful like all the other ones she’d received ?Odd? — smile, about to walk in the other direction. Though, now that she thought more about it, you were most definitely walking towards the similar destination — if only she acknowledged you more than she already had, yet that would have been a tad bit demeaning. So she averted her gaze, muttered a swift “sorry” as she passed, and that was that.
Or so it seemed about 10 minutes ago or so, and then right on came the second interaction.
She inhaled sharply at seeing you. She had recognized the sight instantly regardless of the fact that she had seen your face only for a split second. Warm colored eyes and soft contour of your cheeks glowing slightly beneath the store’s dim radiance as you walk deeper within the store, murmuring a polite greeting before your curious gaze lingered on her, followed by that little smile you had given her earlier. It was then that she had a name to put on you as the manager introduced you to one another, nodding every now and then and letting out a quiet ‘yes’, ‘okay’, and ‘got it’ to whatever he said. And when she departed from the building she was bound to come back to in a few days, she found herself unconsciously gripping the employee shirt in her hands which shook little enough for her to ignore it, and continued with her day. However, she could not avoid the unrelenting memory of you with those eyes and smile, unaware that, before long, the precise thought of you within her mind would become inevitable.
At nine am on a Monday, she arrived, shirt slackly tucked into her cargo trousers, the manager was juggling a handful of boxes, each one marked with the familiar logo of the store, without much more than a glance in her direction, head nodding toward the back, voice barely rising above the sound of cardboard shifting in his arms as he briskly informed her of the employee room in the back and something along the lines of you arriving momentarily. A few minutes later, she walked out of the staff room while inwardly stating she could have very least stayed in bed instead of taking a pointless job until a particularly semi-familiar presence with bright eyes came into view, and she found herself grumbling less about where she was — more so questioning how does a single person come to have eyes like that this early in the morning — as you walked over to her. A warm ‘good morning’ had left your lips, and all she could find herself offering you was a thin-lipped smile and curt nod (you had yet to understand how rare her smiles were, forced or otherwise), and you proceeded to assist and guide her through the workplace. Patience was something you easily possessed as you demonstrated essential tasks such as greeting those who entered, offering assistance if needed, being aware of the store’s layout, and answering questions she may have, which were not many, though you did not seem to mind that she didn’t.
“So,” you had given her a smile, similar to the first two ( or eighth that you've given her the past hour, she could not recall — ) though this one was warmer and lopsided, as you were across from her, both of you standing in front of the store’s window display. “Do you have any questions for me, Alice?”
Her lips subtly pursed at the way you said her name, and once again she found herself freezing except for her blinking. That was the first time she had heard you say it. She stayed quiet for a while, staring at you, at the way your smile became a bit wider until her eyes dragged to the side, clearing her throat with a shake of her head, a quiet “no, thank you,” leaving her.
She heard you hum, your steps slowly and quietly descending backwards. There was a bit of disquietude in her head that perhaps her action may have drawn you away from her, internally cursing at herself, her gaze then fixed on the ground while waiting for you to fully walk away.
“Okay then. I’ll be behind the register, in case you have anything to ask … or if you just want a bit of conversation, you know where to find me.” She looked up at you again, and she was taken aback to see your smile remained, the spark in your eye unwavering. And with a soft “good luck”, you turned and made your way behind the counter.
And so, that was when it all began, the few of many interactions to come. Over time, Alice learned that you were always patient and kind. Two adjectives were an understatement to the entirety of what, and who you were, yet they seem to fit you to perfection. Kind enough you were to always greet her with a warm ‘good morning’ and question ‘How are you?’ when she walked early into the store or you were the one to arrive only a handful of minutes after her. And you did not just do it in the sense of just making formal small talk – you engaged in conversation with her. Whether her response was small, at times remained the same, or she let herself truly speak for a moment, you actually listened, acknowledged her in more than what she believed herself to be, and responded. Kind and patient you were when it seemed her entire world felt like it was against her. Kind you were when something wrong occurred that she believed was her fault, like the other day when she had tackled some rebellious teenager for shoplifting, and the store’s supervisor was about to get onto her case until you jumped into her rescue. You always had something kind to say to and do for her.
Long boring hours of settling near the entrance and faintly greeting those who entered ( which most of the time went unanswered, but what did it matter when you’d glance briefly at her and give her one of those lopsided smiles she grew to like ), you found a way to make it entertaining for her. Interactions were both fleeting and lingering with you, but they were all significant nonetheless — warm, familiar, at ease for the reason that you did not push her into any more than what she gave, and for a moment she did think that would push you away from her, yet it didn’t. You had found a way to make her look forward to the next shift and every single one that came after that.
There were times when, while sitting at the front of the display window bright and early, it felt tedious for the very reason that you had not arrived. It had been ten minutes, and you normally arrived at the very least five minutes after she would. ( and if it was the other way around, she arrived three to four minutes after you ). How did her mind jump from finding itself waiting for you to arrive to wanting to leave the building if you did not? She was not certain, nor did she allow herself to think much more of it than what she already did. Two minutes passed and her dark-polished fingers drummed impatiently against the ‘Queen’ button pinned to the pocket of her joggers ( a pin that you had gifted her with when you briefly learned the band was one she favored. Alice convinced herself it was a simple gesture of friendship. She then learned that apparently, this was the longest form of friendship she had had in a while). Three minutes had her knee bouncing relentlessly, and when it nearly came to four it had her considering the idea of ruining her 3-month streak in keeping this job.
Just as she was about to get up and gather her items, you tumbled into the place, wisps of your hair rebelling against its standard styling, chest heaving, your attire rumbled, your beaming face being met with her hitched-up brow.
“The escalator to go up was broken, so I had to go up the one that goes down …” A soft giggle bubbled up your throat as you stood in front of her, and her heartbeat could not avoid the continuous jitters it created. “Very chaotic experience, you should try it someday, Ally.”
Alice was not accustomed to … whatever this was with you — if there was even anything to label with you besides a decent friendship. Her life had been built on discipline, on maintaining a steady grip over her emotions to keep both herself and those around her safe. The curse she carried and tried to keep away, an inherited darkness bound to her by blood, had obligated her to draw thick boundaries, separating herself from anything or anyone that might break her focus. She believed anything tied to dating, being with someone was a luxury she could not afford— too perilous, too unpredictable. That was before you.
The idea of liking you had lurked within her in quiet, unexpected moments, moments that threw her off balance. It had occurred though in this moment, striking her when you — in a disheveled state with that lively grin of yours ( not to mention, you took habit in calling her Ally, something she never let anyone really call her besides her mother. Yet it didn’t feel so bad when you called her that ) — softly laughed at her expression, truly laughing in a way that illuminated your entire face, the sound vivid with warmth, those vibrant irises piercing right through her defenses when they met her brown ones. She could feel the stir of something unfamiliar, something that frightened her more than any spell or demon she had ever faced. Her pulse quickened, her carefully crafted composure wavering. She found herself wanting to see you smile in that way again, to be the reason for it — and that terrified her.
At first, she resisted the feeling, brushing it off as a fleeting, irrational notion — just another trick of false hope her mind fabricated, she told herself. But now that she looked back at every interaction experienced, she found herself lingering in your presence a moment too long, her eyes randomly but purposefully fixated on you throughout the day. Such as when you worked behind the register when customers were doodling with that black pen you always used, strands of your hair brushing your forehead as you tilted down to focus on the little sketches upon the stacks of sticky notes you kept tucked into the counter’s small storage spaces. ( the times she stood behind the register, which was pretty rare, was when you had gone to help the manager with something and she was entrusted to be back there — she caught clear sight of what you did with those doodles; they practically decorated and brought the dark colors of the shelves to life. she may or may not have tucked one very endearing doodle into her pocket, one she recognized to be the pattern of the jewelry she wore being drawn upon an endearing cartoon character .)
During break times or the time you and she had gone down to the food court, she found herself tracing the gentle lines of your face, the warmth that radiated from your eyes, the politeness in the manner you spoke as you ordered both for you and her, already knowing her preference by heart. And every time, her chest would constrict, a subtle but unmistakable tension rising within her, unsettling in its unfamiliarity. Her stomach would twist, an agitating excitement she could barely recognize, let alone comprehend, creeping into her thoughts. She would force herself to look away, to stifle the sensation as if quelling a spark before it ignited into a flame she feared she would not be able to control. It was both maddening and intoxicating, a quiet chaos beneath her skin that she did not dare admit to herself.
Her reactions continued nearly involuntary. That protective nature she contained honed when around you, almost instinctual. If customer was disrespectful, or if someone tended to cross a boundary, a limit with you, she was there to check on you, to interfere with whatever issue that person was giving you. She would catch herself worrying over small things — if you had eaten enough, if you were conscious to your surroundings when you went to the food court or anywhere that was not near her, if you were sleeping well when she’d catch you dozing off, or when she’d go on break, she’d bring you back a water bottle just to make sure you’re hydrated. She would find reasons to ensure your well-being, offering her assistance in ways that were tenuous but frequent. She grew excessively aware of you, attuned to each movement, every gesture, every change in your tone. The times you would sneak away from the task you were supposed to be doing to sit with her and talk about everything or nothing at all, or when you would stand so close to her to the point where that sweet scent of yours lumbered and your shoulder brushed hers — the pressure increasing just so very slightly, or when your fingers grazed hers — even if the proximity was coincidental, it felt odd. Odd but comforting, and she found herself wanting to live in that feeling just a bit more before she would pull away. Her breath would catch before she forced herself to steady it. She could not remember the last time she had been so rattled, so affected by someone’s presence. And the more she tried to dismiss it, the more inevitable it became.
And then there were interactions that followed with the remnants of quiet weariness and sorrow Alice let herself feel when it came to her life, her mother. She came to reveal only pieces, admissions of herself to you, and of course, you being you, you remembered every bit of it and wove them together. This specific moment was given when it was near closing hour, shops emptying while employees got ready to start heading home, yet while fixing the place up a bit, a recognizable melody Alice wished to forget played filled the atmosphere. You noticed the shift in her demeanor, a partial reason for it, and when she sunk to the floor with her back against the wall, her pounding head clutched between her quivering palms, a silence suddenly replaced the song — your doing.
She still had not lifted her head as one of her hands fell over her knees, yet she felt it. She felt your presence descend beside her, that floral fragrance of yours wavering and blanketing her aching soul. That familiar pressure against her shoulder, and the light curl of your fingers around hers. An ease, a steadiness flowed through the familiarity of this contact, alleviated the silence.
“Rough day, no?” you murmured quietly. There was a hint of gentle mirth woven within your voice, she detected. It was light enough that it did not press though let her know you were there, ready to bring a bit of levity if she it was what she needed from you. It was then a light laugh rose from her, aerated, barely perceptible, but she was certain you heard it.
“Guess you could say that,” She watched as pads of your fingers took action in lightly tapping up against the back of her hand before going down, repeating the action once or a few more times, and it felt as if you had done it countless times before. It came natural when her own fingers unconsciously spread apart, just a bit, as your touch soothed up and slid between them. “it feels just a bit better now, though.” Because of you.
Your thumb then swept over the outer lining of her thumb in a quiet rhythm, allowing her the space to sit with her thoughts, to simply be as she was without needing to mask anything.
Closing hour was near within seconds, and she did not bother looking up at the manager as he threw a questioning look at you both but said nothing of it, simply pointing out for one of you to close up in a few minutes before he left you to sit there in silence . You set her at ease in moments similar to these. Perhaps part of the reason she liked you so much was that you made her feel comfortable with herself, if only momentarily.
“You … you don’t have to stay here with me, y’know. You can go, I’ll be fine.”
You hummed lowly at her words — words she always repeated and knew she didn’t mean for the reason being that she hoped you could stay with her just a moment longer — her skin searing beneath the touch given, whether it was done out of a friendly gesture, of possibly reciprocating what she tried avoiding, it did not matter. “I’m not going anywhere, Alice. We can just stay here until you’re ready to go, okay?”
Her lips parted, gaze focusing on the gentle movement of your hand. Allured with the way your complexion blended with hers beneath the golden glow the store provided. The way that this felt right — when was the last time something felt right in her life? Everything she came in contact with, she believed it all turned to shit. But the more she looked at your joined hands, the more she found herself feeling that maybe she could make an effort in turning it all around. And when she glanced up through her strands of scarlet and black, her vulnerable brown gaze met your intent one, she had her response, finally let herself acknowledge that pestering feeling.
She liked you. It was more than perceptible, of course. Another truth she tried pushing herself to avoid, yet it was one did not want to anymore. Not when this truth brought her contentment as much as it brought fear.
Under the wires of anxiety and the tangles of pessimistic thinking of this, of truly putting the effort in making this part of her life work, there was a piece within her that was positive this would all be okay. That all of this will perhaps work. She trusted you far more than she could ever imagine trusting another person besides herself — hell, not even herself. Not with the concept of the curse crawled within her mind and interfered with her every action.
Yet with every interaction with you — just you alone gave her reason to hope, even if it was false that could waste her energy in hoping for something more with you that may not happen. She wanted to clutch onto that twinge of hope you prospered, of light you carried, of founding motivation for every day you brought into her life.
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wandixx · 2 days ago
Text
You'll never find the aswers ch.4
Words in this part: 5547
Story summary: M'gann was having an amazing day. She met with her civilian friends, drank an amazing smoothie, saw a cute dog. For a few hours, she didn't have to think about problems that took more than 20 minutes to solve. For a few hours, she could just be Megan.
And then there was a scream of a woman, mother, who thought too loud and faded too fast and M'gann wasn't enough to save her and it made her whole world come crashing down
And then Danny found her, with a soft smile and patient voice. He kneeled beside her to pick up the pieces.
And shards cut them both in the process.
This part summary: M'gann and Danny hold a funeral ceremony
Trigger warnings: Mention of Character Death (should I still put it in chapter tw with... everything this fic is?), (Made up) Funeral Traditions, Referenced Cultural Appropriation (I think? I'm not sure. He means well, he's trying but he just couldn't learn everything)
Please let me know if I forgot to put something here
first chapter, previous chapter
M'gann's hands were trembling. It didn’t make any sense since she was sitting in a relatively warm room and just trying to force herself to do her homework. But her hands were trembling and her head was empty. She pressed her pen to the paper anyway and wrote her human name in the corner to at least have something. It looked wrong. Her handwriting always looked weird when she was holding her pen so hard.
Mountain was unusually quiet. Most of the time it was just her and Conner here, and neither of them were particularly loud, but usually there was something to be heard. Rooms were soundproofed to give people with super hearing some chance to rest and everyone else some privacy, but M’gann almost always left her door at least cracked. It still was too quiet. Like there was nobody there in a fifty mile radius around her. Her ears were ringing just enough to be counted as a sound. 
Artemis said once that when she couldn’t think of a way to start writing an essay, she would try to find a definition of the key word in the topic. It apparently was a good way to get started.
M’gann stared at the printed sentence for what felt like milenia and still didn’t know what she actually read, let alone identified a crucial part of it. Her brain just felt disconnected a bit. Not quite like she stood next to herself but like she leaned back a little.
She sighed and threw her head to stare at the ceiling for a moment as if it held answers to any of her problems. 
Knock… knock, knock, knock-knock-knock!
Danny was at her door, knocking on the frame. At some point or another, way back when she thought she could actually help and save people and be a hero people expected her to be, back then Danny would come around to her room a lot and along the way they created a knocking system. This pattern meant something important. 
She really didn't feel like she had energy for important. 
Knocking repeated. She got up and opened the door fully. Her telepathy felt harder to use lately, as a side effect of overall impairment of psychic powers Martians typically experience at the times of great distress. In her case it depended on a day. Sometimes she could use her powers like nothing happened. Sometimes, like today, even the easiest tasks felt out of reach.
Danny smiled solemnly at her and slowly held out his hand. There were two colorful spheres in it, a bit smaller than a ping pong ball and imperfect in shape as if they were handmade by someone inexperienced. Her fingers brushed on the uneven surface. Breath caught in her throat, her lungs stilled. She recognized the colors, she recognized the texture, she recognized the scent.
Those were mourning orbs. 
“Everything is ready” he announced earnestly, whispering as if it would be an utter sacrilege to speak any louder. She nodded. She looked back at her room, her eyes darting around anxiously. She was supposed to prepare urns. She didn’t even think about touching it.
“It alright, I've got it” Danny placated seeing her fear and shifted his bag to bring her attention to it. He was so gentle that M’gann wanted to cry a bit. What did she do to deserve it?
He held her hand now, soft and tender. There was an unexpected comfort coming from his familiar calluses rubbing against her still bruised skin.
“Are you ready? We can do it another time if your not”
Her vision blurred a bit but she nodded, exiting her room. They began walking, Danny leading the way to the place he found. She couldn’t bring herself to wonder where it was. Contact helped her stay more firmly in her body but her thoughts were still fuzzy around the edges. Their footsteps weren't making any sound. Danny most likely shared his intangibility with her, to make sneaking around easier. She was familiar with the tingling of her skin it caused.
He was careful but sure in his route. His head was slightly tilted, like always when he was continuously using his enhanced hearing. He was probably making sure they won't bump into anyone, even if they could turn invisible the moment someone showed up. If they wanted to disappear at all, in theory nobody should stop them from just coming outside.
She appreciated it. She didn't want to see anyone else right then.
She rarely thought about how harsh lights in the Mountain were and how intense smelt the lemon detergent they used for floors. Silence around them was heavy, overwhelming, loud in a way that didn't make any sense. Main room was staring when they crossed it, despite being empty.
She wasn't sure why she was able to breathe  a little deeper only when they were by the door. Mountain was her home. She liked it. She felt safe there.
She felt like tearing her skin off until they left.
She had to blink a few times when the sun hit her eyes. She didn’t even realize how much darker it was inside. She didn't like the thought that it was her first time outside since she came back from school on Friday. It was late Sunday. Danny stopped and only continued after making sure she was alright. He let go of intangibility, letting their feet break twigs on the ground and brush along the soft grass.
It was warm outside, sun low enough to begin painting the sky in yellows and oranges and pinks while most of it stayed light blue. M’gann breathed in the scent of earth and leaves and overall life outside that felt too strong for how dry the past few days were.
“We're almost there. I hope you'll like it“ Danny said with a reassuring smile when she slowed down to take it all in. They stopped walking for a moment.
M’gann tried to return his smile but it felt wrong. Like she was possessing her own body and had to almost manually pull muscles for every gesture, continuously using wrong controls.
“I'm sure I will,” she said. She realized with a strat that it was the first time she spoke that day. Her voice was scratchy and uncomfortable. Judging by the concerned glance Danny sent her way, he caught it too. She cleared her throat like it could change anything. Her hand was lightly squeezed. They went deeper into the forest surrounding Mount Justice. 
They walked a bit more, slower than before. Despite released intangibility that would indicate they didn't need to sneak around, Danny was careful to not break too many branches and M’gann followed suit. Here silence wasn't suffocating but sacred. Gentle wind was rustling leaves above their heads while a few birds sang. It was late enough both in the day and the year for them to appear after doing whatever they did the whole day outside of mornings and evenings full of music. Before… before the accident, she sometimes woke up early to watch the sunrise and listen to them, before heat became unbearable even for Earth born beings. She too wasn't too keen on the heat of summer.
They stopped in the clearing small enough that most of it was still in the shadows of surrounding trees. Only some rays of golden sunlight made it through the leaves, illuminating a miniature, fragile looking bush in the middle. The earth around it was freshly disturbed. 
“We're here” Danny explained, barely louder than the breeze “You said you wanted something human to it and we usually put flowers so I took liberty and planted it here. Maybe it was too much. If it is, just tell me, I don't think it's settled enough to not survive uprooting. Sam helped me pick it, she mentioned something about flower language. I don't know much about it but I can try expla–”
“It's perfect, thank you” she choked out, not really listening. It truly was.
“Oh, okay. Okay, cool”
Sun was peeking in between leaves, marking their faces with golden flecks. Any other time she would say it looked almost magical. She felt alone all of the sudden. Of course Danny was there, silent and solemn but other than that, outside of this little clearing stopped in time, the whole world could stop existing and she wouldn't realize. She wouldn't care.
Mourning orbs somehow made their way to her hand, accompanied by a traditional necklace to carry one of them. Both of them already had some emotional residue in them, like all handmade things tended to. She liked it. Her heart felt warmer sensing utter devotion that sinked in with the time Danny spent working on them. It was too faint for him to catch, sincere as one could get.
Traditional necklace meant to hide one of them was clinically clean, made by some professional.
Danny put his bag on the ground, and took out a set of two urns. M’gann winced internally. They weren’t made by him, obviously. It wasn’t a problem. Process of creating urns was too complicated for even an untrained Martian to replicate, let alone human who had two weeks to learn. It was a sophisticated art, specifically cultivated by White Martians in their workshops. Urns Danny brought weren’t wrong in any outright visible way. They were clearly made by someone who knew their craft, a bit wider than normal but not enough to be incorrect. Clearly, the big rim was a part of the design for some reason.  If she focused enough, she probably could even guess from which artist family they came. The urns were frankly stunning, painted with rusty reds, some oranges and muted yellows and white, the color of death and danger, bright yellow like Priest’s skin to signify how sacred the item and ceremony in general were, barely there smidge of hopeful light blue and saturated red like royalty’s skin to tell anyone who could see it, how important the person mourned was to the people attending a funeral. They held weird green tinge to them and M’gann carefully didn’t consider what most likely caused it, focusing on the a bit too complicated, ornate shapes and perfectly even surfaces. If she had a chance to get a traditional funeral when the time came for her, she’d like to get urns almost like these.
But they were dead. Carefully kept from being polluted by foreign feelings. M’gann knew it was an industry norm, almost no one wanted stranger’s feelings on their gift for the dead. But it rubbed her the wrong way. She wanted feelings on her gifts, even stranger’s would be better than this unnerving emptiness. She couldn’t stand that something so personal was so dead. It didn’t make sense on a level so fundamental she couldn’t quite express it in words in her own head. Her urns should be ingrained with her tears and if not, with anything else, they should hold someone’s passion for the craft or annoyance at weird request or something, anything really.
Many others shared her opinion on the matter, so often in between getting a finished product from a workshop and the funeral itself, there was a set time when family and others that were supposed to attend the main ceremony would meet to fill urns with their feelings.
But obviously Danny couldn’t know that. So his urns were empty, perverted, wrong like a macabre funhouse mirror. off just enough to make people unsettled while being right enough to immediately recognise yourself in a distorted image.
“Do you want me to leave or do it with you?” he asked, bringing her back from her mussing.
Did she want him to leave? Not really. It felt intimidating for some reason. Overwhelming. Lonely. She didn’t want to be by herself while pouring her heart out to the world. She wasn't supposed to be on her own while doing it.
On the other hand, despite his clear, enormous effort, Danny didn’t know what it was supposed to look like. If anything, this slight mishap with urns proved that there was so much he had yet to learn and she didn’t want his lack of knowledge to profane the ceremony. Especially since he didn’t have any connection, any reason to feel anything towards the woman in whose memory they even did it. 
But he seemed earnest in his respectful silence, ready to give the unknown dead person all of the reverence they deserved. And she didn't want to be alone.
“Stay please“ she breathed out, so softly she wasn't sure he heard her. But he nodded, taking out two other orbs from his hoodie pocket.
“These were the trial runs,” he explained hurriedly “I took them just in case. I didn't plan on using them. And I only have two urns. I’ll get another two later, I promise”
“It's alright. You put a lot of effort into it all. Thank you”
Danny stared at her with a look somewhere between offended and absolutely appalled. 
“You can't halfass preparations for the funeral, it's like, the most basic decency!“
There was some sort of weird longing and jealousy(?) that flared up when she said that, strong enough that her impaired brain picked it up. They should talk about that later. It was potentially something she could do to at least partially repay him for all the effort he was putting in helping her. 
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you mad-”
“It’s okay, you did nothing wrong. I’m just a bit touchy about this stuff. It’s not even a ghost thing, just a me thing, really. You had no way of knowing, it’s okay”
They’ll definitely have to talk about it later. Not now though. They had other things to get done at the moment.
“Alright. I’m still sorry”
Danny just sighed and went back to searching his bag.
With gritted teeth M’gann changed back to her true form. After so long in Megan’s body it felt wrong, too stretched out and squeezed in all of the uncomfortable places, but she stayed like that. There were no lies to be told at the funeral.
Some part of her wanted to scream and rub the skin off of herself.
“Should I switch to Phantom?” Danny whispered.
“It depends. Which form do you consider the true you?”
Halfa hadn’t said anything, furrowing his brows, analyzing her question from all the angles by the looks of it. After a long moment his face smoothed over again and looked her in the eyes.
“I’m here as your friend not as a hero. Tell me when you’re ready to start”
She nodded and with an unpracticed gesture she put one of the Mourning Orbs in the necklace. She took a few steps to stand at an appropriate distance from the bush. Under normal circumstances, in its place would be preserved brain and ashes of the body, or if it wasn’t possible, something truly personal to the dead person. They had neither. Even little bit of blood that got on her clothes wasn’t available as it disappeared the moment she switched clothes. It still made her sith when she thought about it. Her ectoplasm was useless two, covering M’gann in a way that even Danny couldn’t reverse.
Boy stood on the opposite side with a grim expression on his face, holding his a bit shapeless orb like it was both a lifeline and the most precious thing he ever encountered.
She wasn’t ready. She was terrified. The memory of the dead body in her arms was just at her fingertips and she wasn’t ready to actually remember. Her breath hitched. Danny nodded with an encouraging twitch of emotions.
Let it all out~ he seemed to say. His voice and that of her home sang in unison and she could only do so much against their joined forces.
First tear ran down her cheek, quickly joined by next and next.
She held the body in her hands, staring as the life slowly left it, each desperate thought getting quieter and quieter, more hopeless as M’gann tried her best to put crushed ribs back together based on telepathic touch alone because she didn’t have an x-ray amd the family was getting broken in front of her and she wasn’t sure if the gut wrenching sobs she heard came from her or from the little boy whose smile she saw in his mother’s dying thoughts. She destroyed this little boy and his family and she couldn’t do anything to fix it and  an apology would be pointless but she was going to do it anyway. She was powerful and yet, she couldn’t save life in front of her and it was so unfair that her shortcomings hurt these innocent people.
She would switch their places if she could because they deserved to be happy and together and she could stand that they weren’t because of her and her knees hit the ground much stronger than she would think was possible in relieved memory. There was blood on her hands and she spent countless nights trying to wash it off, even though most of the bleeding was internal. Three was cheerful little boy waiting for his mom and she would never get to him because she was dying on M’gann’s lap and it was her fault and why wouldn’t world punish the responsible and not the bystander and she was choking, her chest tightly squeezed and it didn’t make sense because she didn’t need to breathe as much but earthly air still felt to thin and a woman on her lap drowned in her own blood and how could M’gann let it happen and, and, and…
And now she was using her friend who was already stretched thin and she kept worrying him and others and she was trying to get better and help people like she was supposed to instead of adding to their workload. But she couldn’t force herself to appear alright enough, not in front of Danny, being naturally more intune with emotions, and it was only a matter of time before they left because she was too much to deal with and was too weak and too useless to justify all their effort. She couldn’t get alright but she had to because she was supposed to be better and she trained more to get where she should already be but her mind and body kept slipping, kept betraying her and she was dead, the woman was dead because M’gann didn’t, couldn’t save her and now she was dead, she was dead.
She was dead, she was dead, she was dead…
Only when she couldn’t cry anymore, and when she got too tired to feel, did she open her eyes. With some surprise she realized she actually fell to her knees, back in the form she had that day. She shivered and quickly turned back to her true form. It wasn’t something that was supposed to happen.
Danny solemnly stood where he did before, fiddling with his hands like he did when he was stopping himself from doing something very intently. All of his feelings were kept tightly in his grasp, undetectable without an almost violent pressing. M’gann knew from experience how straining it was and it had to be undeniably harder for someone as unused as him.
She was almost sure he did that to not overwhelm her even more. She probably wouldn’t be able to tell him how thankful she was for that.
Curiously enough, despite how well he hid at the moment, she could sense the tangled mess of feelings he let out just before. She wasn’t in the right headspace to wonder or read what these emotions were but she knew they were strong. Much more intense than she expected of him. After all, he never even met the woman. He knew her only as a victim of M’gann’s shortcomings, taken from the world too soon. He wasn’t obliged to feel anything, to work on the whole memorial and yet he did, with more respect than she saw during some ceremonies she witnessed back home.
“Now we should burn it,” she said, her voice not raising above the quiet rustling of the leaves above their heads. In her White Martian form she could probably brush on them with her head if she stood straighter.
Burning was a complicated part. It had to be done calmly and slowly, with a confident hand so none of the ashes ended up outside of the small urn. Back on Mars, there were Priests and Priestesses, Flame Tamers who trained for ages to get rid of natural fear of fire and control flames before they caught anything they shouldn’t. Anyone inexperienced would taint the ceremony. Obviously they didn’t have anyone experienced anyway and they were both quite susceptible to the heat alone.
Flame Tamers always had a set of heavily ornate tools, that only ever they were allowed to touch. One of them, probably most important, was a stick with a funnel on the one end. It was still really precise to work with, but from what M’gann understood, it significantly facilitated the task. Danny took out a thin metal stick, from his seemingly bottomless bag. It looked like it belonged to chocolate fountain assorted silverware but she couldn't really judge him on that. She wasn't sure if there was punishment great enough for someone who would pervert such a sacred tool and gave it to anyone.
“Sorry, that's the best thing I could find”
No matter how he got everything else, there was no way he could get it too. It would be both too good and too unsettling. She was already uneasy from the horrible contrast between the calm, warm, beautiful day in the forest near the place she wanted to call home and the ceremony  from her cold, unforgiving past, which was always held in the coldest of the caves, ones with the thinnest air. The most inhabitable ones.
“That’s alright”
Danny winced, looking like he wanted to disagree but didn’t say anything. They both stayed quiet for a long moment, on a lonely, quiet clearing.
“How do you want to do this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I only have a really vague idea how this part looks. Nobody wants to tell me how it looks. What do we do now?”
Of course nobody told him. She was surprised he learned this much anyway. He shouldn’t. How the ceremony goes was supposed to stay secret from anyone and everyone who didn’t attend it. It was too vulnerable an event to share anything outside.
But now Danny needed to know. Someone had to tell him. 
M’gann explained even though her tongue felt too big and too dry in her mouth. 
She wished she could just put information in his brain. She knew far too well how Danny would react to that.
“Oh, alright, alright. Do you want me to do it or…”
“You. I wasn’t trained.”
I still fear fire, she didn’t say.
It will hurt less if it’s you who messes up, she didn’t say.
He heard it anyway and responded with a nod.
He stabbed the mourning orb with a stick (M’gann didn’t wince, M’gann didn’t wince) and fished out a lighter from his hoodie pocket. It was the lighter, night sky blue one, patterned with golden stars. The one he almost never used because it was too precious to him. Gift from someone he couldn’t bring up without tears, let alone mention them by name.
M’gann felt like crying again.
He kneeled, doing his best to stabilize his hand over the urn and let a flame lick an urn until part of it turned warm gray and started crumbling. If Danny used the right materials (and he did, as far as she could tell by texture) it didn’t need to be on fire the whole time. Just this starting nudge.
Smoke smelled like iron on the surface. Just right.
She started whispering prayers around the gulp in her throat, their soft melody rolling easily off her tongue. She should be louder, they were meant to be heard, because how else can gods know to help her traveling to whatever was her place to rest. She should be louder because her song was lost in between chirping birds and quiet wind.
But the prayer was never meant to be sung by one person. There was never supposed to be anything else that could be louder. (She wasn’t sure if she remembered words right).
This woman had her own gods anyway. Martian ones didn’t need to guide her.
She sang a little louder anyway.
She was on a very poetic passage about promise to never forget and always grieve when Danny’s hand trembled. Ash almost got over the rim of the urn, almost got polluted. M’gann flinched and stopped singing.
Up until this point he was doing surprisingly well. Maybe even suspiciously if she didn't know he had no way and no reason to actually train it. But there he was, almost as sure and precise as some Flame Tamers were.
Whoever designed the urns probably suspected that. She didn’t want to think about what would happen if they were standard size.
Even from the height of her ‘true’ form she could see tremors running through his body and a way his face was screwed to contain crying. The way he seemed to carefully measure each breath. He caught his wrist with other hand, his grip so strong that his knuckles turned white.
“Sorry about it. Don’t interrupt yourself” he muttered, his voice hoarse from unshed tears.
Some dark part of her mind wanted to listen to him, but the thought lasted no longer than half a second, drowned by guilt. Up until this point M’gann had never really considered how attending a funeral would affect Danny. He just seemed so ready and almost… excited for the lack of a better word. Eager to help like he always did. Never uncomfortable, even a slightest bit, with an idea, other than the first time when she wrote it off as overall stress from consoling her right after the… right after.
But she wasn’t really looking for it either, was she? How many things she missed because of her stupid impaired brain or because she was too self centered on her own pain or because he tucked it fast enough to consider it her mistake. But he was clearly not fine and his orbs were filled to the brim and everything filling them was just tad too personal. 
“Are you sure you’re alright? We can take a break. Or I can finish on my own.”
It wasn’t really supposed to happen but really, there were so many rules they broke. It wouldn’t change anything if they broke one more. Danny’s wellbeing was more important anyway, plus it’s not even that she needed Martian gods to help the woman. He said himself, it was mostly to help her and she wouldn’t feel any better if her friend worked himself to breakdown.
“I’m fine Meg” he muttered, hiding his tears a bit better “Just… It’s a beautiful prayer. I got moved by it” he explained, not lying but not telling the truth. There was another pang of jealousy that slipped his control. She made sure to remember it. They couldn’t talk about it at the moment, but they had to speak about it later “You can finish, I’m fine”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes. Sing Meg. I want to know how it ends,” he said softly. If his tone was a bit less sincere he would sound demanding. He didn’t. She knew if she really dug her heels in she could stop and Danny wouldn't fault her.
She sang again, this time it didn’t feel like she had to fight wind to be heard. She was singing for the victim and Danny both. Yes, they both had their own gods but Martian ones could lend their hands. Maybe that’s what they both needed to rest.
This time it felt like a soft breeze carried her voice, like chirping birds turned a bit more solemn and they complemented the simple but powerful melody. Words rolled off her tongue with ease. Last bits of her devastation and grief were unsticking from her soul, leaving her body with each line, each sound.
It was cleansing.
She looked up at the sky when she finished, pinks and oranges familiar in a beautiful and terrifying way.
She heard rustling when Danny stood up. She didn’t realize she zoned out long enough for him to finish burning the second orb. It wasn’t important. He smiled at her, small and comforting, craning his neck to look her in the eyes. He rummaged around his bag again and took out intricate containers that usually held the brain and ashes from the rest of the body with some solvent. They too were created by a clear master of the art.
She really needed to ask Danny how he got all of this.
“Where do we…?”
Before he could finish, she gently took both objects out of his hands. It was something she needed to do on her own.
She carefully put them in the same distance from the anemic bush that marked the center of the grave circle. Usually the remains of the dead were placed first thing first during the ceremony, but in cases like this, when there was nothing, the reminder of it was put as almost last. There was no place for lies during the funeral. Even if the lie was just to make it hurt a tiny bit less. 
Then she fixed the placement of the urn, in the circle around the brain. She carefully didn’t think about how it should be half circle, about to be finished when everyone moved on, and not mere two lone urns.
“To finish we need stones that’ll mark the border of the grave,” she explained, looking for anything sufficient. Usually funerals were attended by enough people so there was no problem with making a consistent circle but there were only two of them. Stupid tears filled her eyes. She wished she could do it properly. There was no way they could do all of the steps correctly and she knew from the start. It went better than she could expect.
She still felt an urge to throw a tantrum about everything that was wrong, wrong, WRONG!
Danny fished out two big stones, almost squares, a bit less than foot wide, about four inches tall. She knew that he had enhanced strength but it still looked unnecessarily heavy. Especially when paired with everything else he had to carry.
“Do you try to get a hernia or something? There are other ways to skip training, you know?” she joked, drying her eyes with her wrist.
Danny stayed silent for a moment, as if he was looking for words, with empty eyes and blank face. M’gann didn’t know if it was an angle or new light or something totally else, that made dark bags under his eyes more pronounced. He seemed a bit paler, too.  
“Nah. But you two deserve all the best things I could get for you,” he muttered softly. He raised both stones higher, pointedly closer to her hands. He smiled at her, earnest and solemn.
Was he trying to make her cry again? If he did, he was doing a great job at it.
“Yeah?” she choked out around a sudden gulp in her throat.
“Of course”
They put stones across each other, small, missed twig snapping under the weight. Birds kept singing cheerfully and wind kept blowing as if to spite them, as if to remind them that the world was still moving forward and even things closest to them wouldn’t stop for even a second.
It should be silent. Why wouldn’t it be silent?!
M’gann finally turned back to her green form. Danny quietly opened his arms, a quiet invitation to the hug she could reject if she so wanted. She threw herself into it fast enough to make the boy grunt.
It wasn't an all encompassing type of hug, they were too similar in size for that. But it was warm, soft and unyielding in all the right places. She was safe in it, separated from the outside world in a way no walls could ever manage. Like the most beautiful song, she could hear and feel life in Danny’s body, each deep breath and small twitch of muscles and subconscious moves of his head that made his hair tickle her cheek. She wasn’t exactly tense before but her body uncoiled the longer she was being held. It wasn’t hard to tell that Danny did too. 
Neither of them mentioned hands fisted on the backs of their shirts. Neither of them mentioned how the deep breaths turned just a bit more shallow and hitched. Neither of them mentioned how tender grass cushioned their fall.
M’gann couldn’t tell she felt better, with a tension headache and all of her emotions just too close and raw.
But she felt lighter and that was probably the first step.
******
I love this chapter, it's probably one of my favorites, but god damn was it pain to write. I liked writing it, but I was getting to it like dog to a hedgehog. I just had to be in the right mood to write it, y'know. It's probably kinda why I didn't finish rewriting before I had to start posting and why I run out of backlog hah (and right at the part that I think needs the biggest rewrite and cannot bring myself to it. Though now I have college deadline maybe I'll manage to procrastinate in a productive way)
And I had absolute blast comming up with these traditions, @audhumla-sailor can confirm that
But yeah, I love this chapter, I hope you like it too thanks to or despite a bit more... poetic way of writing
Drink something and check in with yourself if your binge reading
AO3 link
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cryptid-killjoy · 24 hours ago
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"That would be a yes."
Though he wasn't admitting how challenging this conversation had been for him right then. He just kept smiling.
While he stepped out though and was clearing the truck he was also clearing his mind of that impromtu conversation he hadn't quite been ready for himself. It felt seriously good that it happened after such a solemn evening and burdensome trip. It felt like a pick-me-up to perk him back into shape before heading out again.
When Elsa finally came out she was he looked up as he pushed down the last bit of trash into an outside bin.
"Thanks. It might still smell like left over fries in here though." He laughed. Oops on not getting those out sooner. He reached for his glove box and opened up a new tree shaped air freshener and opened his window just in case. He'd air it out a minute. Maybe it was just his bear nose? He was never sure. Some smells didn't seem to effect others the way it did him.
"Okay. All set then." He climbed in the driver's seat and gave her another smile, that he couldn't help but think about the conversation they just had smile.
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"Guess we can head out."
He had that awkward pause of yup, that's what we're doing now. I got this. He couldn't help it. He'd never attempted to express feelings like that before, not anyone who seemed recipricating. He had to tell his brain to stop it and move on.
Once he got the truck in gear and pulled out he started to feel a lot more normal. He just needed to get in motion again. He reached for the radio. He almost couldn't remember where he was going. That was because it was no place in particular. He wanted to cruise the rez.
"I just want to loop around the old neighborhood first. Feel like I'm actually here." He explained. They'd come straight through town one mission for the burial and it didn't allow for much sight seeing. He was so stuck on the grief of his mothers he didn't get to enjoy any nostalgia of his childhood.
So, that's how it would start once they got away from the vampire's home. Koda would put his window down all the way and hang his arm out and start grinning when memories would hit. He'd point with his arm hung out. "There. Right there. See that house." He'd say. "That's where we'd all go play freezetag in the back yard. We always hung out at that kid's house because they had a basketball pole in their driveway."
The pole wouldn't have a net and the metal would be a tad rusty, but it brightened his face. "I remember it having a net though." Everything aged.
He drove around to a playground. He pulled alongside it and parked just to watch the kids play. It was more weathered than he remembered too. "I can't believe that merry-go-round is still there. Wow. We called it the wheel of death. We could never get it to stop." He laughed. "That was always the best part though. We'd always try to make it stop, dig our heels in the dirt, and it was an unstoppable force. It'd drag us kids on the outside right along with it. It was a death wheel."
He kept shaking his head. "Denahi always tried to make sure I had a kid life when I came to visit." He admitted. "Thought my mother was too strict with all the disciplines she trained me in." He just shirked because he loved them both. "Best of both worlds in the end, I guess. But it was sort of like that. Coming here. Like a mini-vacation to be a kid for a little while. Goof off. I just... didn't get to come very often." Another admittance. "Not till I got a little older."
Then from the truck he'd stick his arm way out of the window to the trees. "See back there? Way back there where it looks like you shouldn't go?"
A smirk.
"That's where we all hung out."
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His voice amped up as his memories got more vivid and happier. "See now, if you go back there passed the trees, there's a creek. You follow the creek far enough there's these old drain pipes of some kind. We'd hide out and have our, I don't know, whatever secret kid meetings I guess. It was like our private lair except really anyone could have found it. But nobody goes back there, so it felt like our little world.
"Then if you go off trail at just the right tree there's a clearing. That's where the rope swing was. Anyone who was cool, right? They came to this rope swing to prove themselves. Nothing but bastard double dog daring dare devil little shits. That's all we were bullying each other into dangerous situations for a thrill."
"Then if you go off past the other direction if you follow inside the pipes there are two free range open half pipes in the natural earth out the other side. Not the manmade kind, you feel me? The discovered kind and taken over kind. Kicking with our boards back there where it felt like no parents could find us was life."
His knee was bouncing deciding whether he wanted to get out and go have a closer look or drive on to more nostalgia. He hadn't been there since he was a kid.
It got harder for Elsa to speak while Koda was just smiling at her like that. How did this happen, she thought to herself. She used to be immune to things like this. To the smiles from handsome men. It wasn’t as if Flotsam and Koda were the only two that ever pursued her. She just rarely gave anyone a chance to get on a closer level than a friendly nod if they saw each other in public. But here she was, feeling like her sister Anna used to, whenever she used to fall in love at first sight.
She rolled her eyes, almost in a playful type of matter. “Of course you did. You enjoy challenging me, don’t you?”
Because talking about her feelings was challenging. Especially when she hadn’t been planning on having this type of conversation, and hadn’t gone over and over in her head what she wanted to say. It would still have been genuine but - it would have been a lot better thought out than how this was going right now. Oh, she wanted to kiss that almost-smug, pleased smile off of his face right this second, just to make herself feel better. The corners of her mouth were twitching with slight embarrassment.
So that was that. It was all out in the open now, and she couldn’t breathe back in the words that she had said, even if she wanted to. Her mind was already thinking along the lines of she wished she could have just written this in a letter so she wouldn’t feel the heat in her cheeks combining with the cold of her body, giving her a deer-in-the-headlights type of feeling.
There was relief in the breath that she let out when he spoke again. Put a pin in it. That sounded like the grand idea. Give her time to think about what she wanted to say, to articulate it properly. She probably would write it in a letter, on nice stationary, though no doubt Koda would probably try to get her to read it out loud, say all of the potentially gushy things.
“Yes, that sounds like a good idea," She nodded, getting her dignity back, straightening up her spine so that her head was held tall as she looked back over at Koda. That damn grin. The hints of it still at the corner of his mouth while he talked. “I’ll see you in a few moments.”
Once he left, she bent down over one of the chairs, her hands on the table as she tried to collect herself. It felt like a release somehow. The way that crying sometimes did, not that she did that very often either. She and Koda were in very good standing. They both really liked each other, even though there was still no name on any of this. And he was going to keep showing her parts of his life, being open with her.
And she had started in doing the same, opening up about when she had to speak at her own parents funeral. But he was going above and beyond that by having her here. It made her give thought to what she could do in return, to open up to him further as well, as nerve-wracking as that was.
She helped herself to a light breakfast, just what was around the house, making a mental note of what she took so that she could either pay for it later or replace it. She respected the house and Koda’s uncle, and did not want to be in debt to them for anything. Then, after making sure she was ready, and had given Koda ample time, she walked out into the sunshine that the vampires could not, to see the process that he had made on the truck.
“Much better,” She admired approvingly, seeing the filled trash bag and recycle bin and that the inside of the truck had been cleared out.
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arolesbianism · 3 months ago
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I caved and made them real. Obverse me losing more and more motivation to draw as I made each of these back to back lol
#keese draws#oc art#oc#pmd#pokemon#pokemon mystery dungeon#pmd oc#these guys are inspired by my usual pokerogue team#oh also imagine a question mark after every he/him I have the trans woman beam pointed at all of them#these are just initial concepts for the actual characters themselves now that I’ve developed the world a lil bit#but yeah these 4 were childhood friends who wanted to be in an exploration team together but had to split up for years#tart and quart both had to move away and cart ended up leaving his hometown to try and become a real adventure a few months later#cart and bart remained in contact for a few years before cart got caught up in some crime circles#he was incredibly trusting when he was younger so he got taken advantage of and ended up digging himself a deeper hole in an attempt to be#manipulative back and eventually he got scared enough that he tried to reach out to a guild and acted as a spy for them in turn for them#eventually helping to clear his name and allowing him membership#there were parts of the deal that were unfair and kind of shady but he was desperate enough to pretend he didn’t notice#after he joined he started immediately putting out listings for new team members and he fully planned on being super picky#but when two of his childhood friends applied he was over the moon about it#and immediately accepted both of them#now quart also applied because he had recently ran away from his old life and was desperate to have a new one#and he missed his old friends deeply so when he saw one of them actually managed to start building the team they all wanted to make he was#quick to apply even if he was rusty as hell on normal non contest combat#cart didn’t recognize him at first and mostly only let him have a trial run because he thought it was funny that an eevee of all things was#applying for a high level exploration team and he fully planned on telling quart off immediately afterwards#this ofc made quart very upset and angry but he didn’t try to clairify who he was because he just assumed that time had made cart into an#asshole which isn’t wrong per say but quart didn’t realize cart didn’t recognize him#it was a rough trial expedition but cart found himself actually quite impressed with quart’s slight of paw skills and his impressive biting#speed so he decided to give quart a real chance instead of a mocking one#eventually quart laughs for the first time around him and that makes cart realize who he is and that makes him feel horrible
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the-travelling-witch · 4 months ago
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i saw so many great edits of the natlan characters that i almost got jump scared by the official art
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